After a lot of thought and research, I decided to go for the Ketamine treatments! I don't feel like I have much to lose at this point, I guess most people on the brink of suicide don't. The first step a phone discussion with the clinic doctor where he answered all my questions, talked about how the medication works in your mind, expectations, etc. The second step was getting a referral from my GP, she was very open to me trying the treatment and provided it. The third step was a comprehensive in person mental and physical evaluation, this lasted for 1 hour. I did this evaluation on Monday and it went really well, I left his office feeling more hopeful than I have in a looonng time. Step 4, complete 6 Ketamine infusions in 2 to 3 weeks. I did the first treatment today, it takes 2 hours total and you have to have a ride home. Basically, they hook you up on the Ketamine IV, small needle and hardly felt it, sit you down in a comfy recliner, and put on an eye shade and headphones for music. I chose new age music and I think it translates well for a calm and soothing experience. After they start the IV, they gently bring you down into the experience and you ride the somewhat euphoric waves of the Ketamine for awhile, once they stop the IV you gently start to become more aware of your breathing and feel your body again as you come back out. Afterwards, the doctor sat with me as I came back to fully conscious reality and we talked some about my experience. He answered more questions I had about the treatments, what some of the success stories looked like, how long people remained in remission, how to manage meds and/or if tapering off the meds is a good idea and if so, when. I left feeling a bit clumsy and out of it, but fully aware of everything. Now, relaxing at home, feeling a little bit groggy, but good. The whole point to Ketamine treatments is not what you experience or feel during the treatments, although there may be some benefit in that, it is how it causes things to regenerate in your brain and it changes the way your brain works, specifically it can correct things in areas of the brain that are associated with chronic depression...I will not try to explain further as I am not qualified.
I plan on updating this thread as I go through the treatments and advise how I am doing long term. If you have questions, please post them and I will try to answer back as best I can. I plan on focusing on how effective the treatments are in treating depression and anxiety, don't care to get into trying to explain or further discuss the experience itself, there are plenty of places online you can find out about that.