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L o v e

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by spookysalem, May 1, 2009.

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  1. spookysalem

    spookysalem Member

    L O V E
    Have u ever had it?
    Real unconditional love

    Not I
  2. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    I have,

    ill be the first to tell you that it sounds wonderful, but that too can be all consuming.
    To have someone you would do anything for can destroy your life, literally.

    It does have its good points however, and if its reciprocated in the right manner it can be a wonderful fullfilling experience, but as everything its about working on it and a little give and take.

    There is more than one person out there for us, we change, they change and everyone else changes.
    those you wernt compatable with soon become pleasing prospects and those you love can soon turn into the monsters.

    note the word can,,, as mostly they are arnt, they have just changed, grew inside probably like we are all striving to do. its wether you can grow with them, or you grow apart.

    btw, welcome to s/f :tongue:
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'm James Lyons. When aren't I in love? :laugh:
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Unconditional love.
    I've never seen it. Some people say they've experienced it, but I can't imagine it could come from anyone but God. Every person has that point where love is no longer possible. Unconditional means no matter what you do, however horrible, you'll love them forever.

    I've been "in love" before with girls though. Not true love though. The kind that is not conditional.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Apart from my family..no.
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    For my family, absolutely and I think for the most part their feelings are mutual. But in relationships, although there were one or two I felt very strongly about, I don't think they felt the same.
  7. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Deleted. Sorry not sure...
  8. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    Yea i personally dont think unconditional love exists aside from the simple thought of it. So i dont believe anyone has ever truly experienced it.
  9. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I have lovely Lucy. My high school Sweetheart. We've always been close and she's always loved me. She's a sweet wonderful girl. Now would you all like to hear the great irony of love: I have almost no romantic feelings for the poor girl. That's the bitch of love, no?
  10. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Hell no.
  11. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    On a side note though...i dont believe love is meant to be unconditional. Wheres the connection in that?
  12. aimless

    aimless Member

    Yes I have.

    My wife and I feel in love from our first meeting. Despite her chronic illness we loved each other so much as to remain together for the next 17 years until she died. There were many adversities associated with her illness and the everyday hassles of life, which caused many arguments. It wasn't by any means easy, but through it all we still loved each other despite this. In the end it's not what life throws at you that can get in the way, but the way you both feel about each other that counts.

    She died in 2006 after many years of illness and a steep decline the last 5 years. I still remember the last hug, the last holding of the hands, and the last goodbye as she went from this world. Yes, our love was unconditional. What we had I think few are lucky enough to experience in their lifetime.

    After she died when cleaning out the bedroom I found a little book called "Love Letters". She'd marked a page with the following:

    "This is my pledge, dearest one, I will stand by you... And no matter whether the wine be bitter or sweet we will share it together and find happiness in the comradeship."
    By Edith Bolling Galt (1872-1961)
  13. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear Aimless.

    I agree with MeandYou.

    Love has several forms all of which are conditional. However the term unconditional love, as I understand it, refers more to a tolerant loving relationship that is open to change and honesty and can withstand many stress tests. It's conditional, but strong.

    The idea of constantly fawning over somebody is flawed. Thats more obsession and I'd rather not have anyone feel that way toward me :laugh:.
  14. aimless

    aimless Member

    Oh don't feel sorry James. It was a beautiful experience, like I said one that few know. I guess unless it's been experienced it's hard to understand...
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    unconditional love/loyalty to anything is dangerous and means death.

    ooo. my therapist would love me saying this and say i'm talking about 'deep things'. (she wants me to unconditionally accept being treated like shit by people who say care for me and wants to build up my 'tolerance'. cue for me to leave her i think).
  16. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Had it from my son when he was young, sadly he grew up and became as critical as everyone else :dry:
  17. Lone_walker

    Lone_walker Well-Known Member

    I didnt know what unconditional love was until i just looked it up on the internet :tongue:
    But yeah. I agree with the second post on this thread, it really is consuming to love someone and want to do anything for them, including the ending of your own life. I've so far had that with two people, both of which i knew the moment i fell in love that i would never get further than friends with them (though i find it quite amazing it ever got as far as that). When i'm in unconditional love (is that how you phrase it?), i tend to hear the saying "theres plenty more fish in the sea" and the sayer of that (if directed to me ofc) would often here me say "I don't want a fish in the sea. I only want her, no other person can change that."
    Enough of my lack of love life. Here's a question.

    Do you believe in soul mates? One person in the entire world you were born to be with, someone who is like a perfect counterpart of yourself?
  18. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    I've always sort of seen unconditional love as a sort of steady unflinching acceptance. I dont see where a great connection is to be had there...its sort of like 1 person completely agreeing with and going along with the other.

    There has to be friction to create fire no? :p

    As far as a love so deep and strong taht you would literally do anything for that person and they for you...i do believe in that. But to assume that if you backstab them they will shrug it off and not be affected is naive, i think. But im thinking most people here are defining unconditional love as this and im merely debating semantics. (correct me if im wrong)

    I dont believe in soul mates either. I believe certain people have a different chemistry and a strogner chemistry...but you can build a healthy relationship with anyone willing to reciprocate...why limit yourself?
  19. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Unconditional love = An illusion
  20. spookysalem

    spookysalem Member

    to aimless
    that was beautiful and moving to hear of some ones real geninue love story.
    Im sorry you lost her, but as you say your lucky to have had that love.

    I believe in soulmates, all sorts,

    To meand You
    Unconditional love is not that you agree with that person all the time, But you love them in spite of disagreements, and you love them no matter what
    I dont think that its consuming your own identity for the sake of someone else
    but I dont know
    I do not have any connections to anything
    Last edited by a moderator: May 3, 2009
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