Let me be pessimistic already

[Kate123]

Well I'm back to this site. I've always thought, having had depression for years and social anxiety for a year-ish, that it's something you can learn to life with. But honestly I suck at that.
This time I think I'm feeling worse than usual because of the people I'm surrounded by. The people at the place I'm currently studying at are kind. Like, super sweet people. But I think exactly because of that that I just can't seem to function with them. I keep feeling different, outside. Most of them are pretty much always positive about EVERYTHING, some bordering being hyper and I'm just sitting there like: calm the fuck down it's not a good morning it's raining and we're all drenched, the sun won't be up for another hour, it's dark like hell and the cantine doesn't sell muffins today. At times when I'm feeling like my entire life is collapsing around me and I actually confess to feeling exhausted they always give me some cheep comment how I'm being silly and tomorrow is another day bullshit and I always smile and nod when I often just want to punch them in the face (but never do of course!). For a long time I've just left when classes are over, when most people sit and study, because I yet again am just too tired to deal with them. I miss pessimistic people.
Life fucking sucks sometimes amirite *highfives myself*.

 

[may71]

The people at the place I'm currently studying at are kind. Like, super sweet people.

The whole school? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that about their classmates at any school.

At times when I'm feeling like my entire life is collapsing around me and I actually confess to feeling exhausted they always give me some cheep comment how I'm being silly and tomorrow is another day bullshit and I always smile and nod when I often just want to punch them in the face (but never do of course!). For a long time I've just left when classes are over, when most people sit and study, because I yet again am just too tired to deal with them. I miss pessimistic people.

I wonder what would happen if you just came out and said something like, "I've been depressed for years, and when you make these kind of comments in just makes me feel worse".

Some people are positive in kind of a fake, plastic way, like they're like that because they want to conform to social expectations.

Showing how you really feel might scare off the plastic people, and allow you to connect to the others. The problem may not be that you're pessimistic and they're not, but rather that you haven't been relating to them on a real level.

It could be that you'd scare all of them off by being real, but maybe that would be better, since you're not connecting to any of them now anyway.