*lets it all out*
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Sorry for the screaming. I just didn't know any other way to express it. I'm not good with words.
I'm supposed to be asking for help, but ... how?
I'm afraid to make myself look stupid, and/or weird (or weirdER). Or that I'll be misunderstood because I cant explain very well.
I dont see myself talking about it with my mother (I'm 15), or whoever. It's just not gonna happen.
I cant even explain to myself. Main thing is that life is pointless and nothing makes me happy. But as I understand now, that is a symptom of depression. So if I wouldnt have depression, what would it be like?
And another thing, social phobia. It's just very uncomfortable to live, I have to communicate with people every day. I almost hate everyone.
But that also seems to be a symptom of depression.
So it's very confusing. What came first? What is the reason to all of this? I'm stuck. :blub:
And oh, I made a little joke with it:
I found out what depression really is.
Wanna know too?
At first read some of the many symptoms of depression:
* You feel like a failure.
* You feel a burden to others.
* You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
What I figured out:
depression is when a person finds out the real truth.
I'm supposed to be asking for help, but ... how?
I'm afraid to make myself look stupid, and/or weird (or weirdER). Or that I'll be misunderstood because I cant explain very well.
I dont see myself talking about it with my mother (I'm 15), or whoever. It's just not gonna happen.
I cant even explain to myself. Main thing is that life is pointless and nothing makes me happy. But as I understand now, that is a symptom of depression. So if I wouldnt have depression, what would it be like?
And another thing, social phobia. It's just very uncomfortable to live, I have to communicate with people every day. I almost hate everyone.
But that also seems to be a symptom of depression.
So it's very confusing. What came first? What is the reason to all of this? I'm stuck. :blub:
And oh, I made a little joke with it:
I found out what depression really is.
Wanna know too?
At first read some of the many symptoms of depression:
* You feel like a failure.
* You feel a burden to others.
* You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
What I figured out:
depression is when a person finds out the real truth.
i feel a lot of the same things you do, i hate the idea of talking to people about my problems for fear ill look stupid but we can both learn to talk to people, itll take time but itll be worth it....maybe the first thing you need to look into is getting help for that? and you can always talk about anything here, people wont think youre stupid or weird, and if they do, theyll have me to answer to :wink:
depression doesnt always have a cause, it can be *just* a mix up of chemicals in your head but that doesnt mean it cant be fixed with a little help :smile:
you listed a few of the symptoms of depression, and i see one thing they have in common, the words "you feel" feeling isnt the same as actually being, i know loads of people who feel worthless, but they mean the world to me, you might feel all those things but youre wrong about them being the truth, i hope you can learn to see that one day :hug:
take care
bunny
depression doesnt always have a cause, it can be *just* a mix up of chemicals in your head but that doesnt mean it cant be fixed with a little help :smile:
you listed a few of the symptoms of depression, and i see one thing they have in common, the words "you feel" feeling isnt the same as actually being, i know loads of people who feel worthless, but they mean the world to me, you might feel all those things but youre wrong about them being the truth, i hope you can learn to see that one day :hug:
take care
bunny
you listed a few of the symptoms of depression, and i see one thing they have in common, the words "you feel" feeling isnt the same as actually being, i know loads of people who feel worthless, but they mean the world to me, you might feel all those things but youre wrong about them being the truth, i hope you can learn to see that one day :hug:
and thank you :hug:
I'll try and get back on track.
The folks in the SF chatroom have been so very sweet and helpful :grouphug:
Sorry for the screaming. I just didn't know any other way to express it. I'm not good with words.
I'm supposed to be asking for help, but ... how?
I'm afraid to make myself look stupid, and/or weird (or weirdER). Or that I'll be misunderstood because I cant explain very well.
I dont see myself talking about it with my mother (I'm 15), or whoever. It's just not gonna happen.
I cant even explain to myself. Main thing is that life is pointless and nothing makes me happy. But as I understand now, that is a symptom of depression. So if I wouldnt have depression, what would it be like?
And another thing, social phobia. It's just very uncomfortable to live, I have to communicate with people every day. I almost hate everyone.
But that also seems to be a symptom of depression.
So it's very confusing. What came first? What is the reason to all of this? I'm stuck. :blub:
I'm supposed to be asking for help, but ... how?
I'm afraid to make myself look stupid, and/or weird (or weirdER). Or that I'll be misunderstood because I cant explain very well.
I dont see myself talking about it with my mother (I'm 15), or whoever. It's just not gonna happen.
I cant even explain to myself. Main thing is that life is pointless and nothing makes me happy. But as I understand now, that is a symptom of depression. So if I wouldnt have depression, what would it be like?
And another thing, social phobia. It's just very uncomfortable to live, I have to communicate with people every day. I almost hate everyone.
But that also seems to be a symptom of depression.
So it's very confusing. What came first? What is the reason to all of this? I'm stuck. :blub:
Oh, me.
That was 3+ years ago. (I'm 18 now [and speak slightly better English].)
I don't know if/think I'm clinically depressed anymore, but still often wish I could vanish into thin air/wouldn't have to deal with all of life's difficulties/that everyone would just go away.
:mortdesinos:
I guess I don't call it depression anymore because I understand the reasons behind feeling this way. It's something that I can try to fix, and even trying makes everything slightly better; it's not a curse that I'm a victim of and can't help.
Life is kinda beautiful. <.< Though I'm still comforted by the idea that everyone dies eventually.
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