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Letting go of shame
- Thread starter CrossedSeas
- Start date
You might want to look at the reading-well.org.uk book list. They have a lot of titles related to self-treatment for mental health, though the list seems to be skewed pretty heavily toward British authors.
If you do a search for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and shame, you might get some good results.
ACT (acceptance and commitment training) is another popular style of therapy. @Windhover made reference to an ACT book here, but I don't know the title.
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...feeling-right-now.3353/page-5978#post-2538100
Sometimes just thinking about how you would counsel someone who had the same feelings that you do is helpful. People are often harsher on themselves than they would be on someone else, so thinking about it from the perspective of another person is a way around that.
I hope something can help.
If you do a search for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and shame, you might get some good results.
ACT (acceptance and commitment training) is another popular style of therapy. @Windhover made reference to an ACT book here, but I don't know the title.
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...feeling-right-now.3353/page-5978#post-2538100
Sometimes just thinking about how you would counsel someone who had the same feelings that you do is helpful. People are often harsher on themselves than they would be on someone else, so thinking about it from the perspective of another person is a way around that.
I hope something can help.
Shame is a horrible parasitic kind of thing which ruins lives. It takes lots of work to conquer it. For me, in a nutshell I had to be brave enough and fed up enought to confront the voices and judgemental patterns of thought one by one. Their only function was to tear me down, and while they'd come from trusted sources they were nothing but poison. Shut them down, forgive the human(s) who passed the shame on to you however they did it. Commit to calling it for what it is, then shutting the shane down every time it comes up.
An old but quite useful book on this is: Healing The Shame That Binds You, by John Bradshaw
Ther ACT books someone recommended to me are The Happiness Trap, and ACT Made Simple - both by Russ Harris.
There are millions of things a person can choose to do in life both good and bad but shame can stop a person from doing any of it.
An old but quite useful book on this is: Healing The Shame That Binds You, by John Bradshaw
Ther ACT books someone recommended to me are The Happiness Trap, and ACT Made Simple - both by Russ Harris.
There are millions of things a person can choose to do in life both good and bad but shame can stop a person from doing any of it.
Many thanks to you both. I really liked what you said about talking to yourself the way you’d talk to others, @may71
@Windhover, I also really like that you highlighted that it can come from trusted sources. Thank you for the wise words and resources, and much credit to you for the work you’ve clearly done on it.
I feel like my shame has been showing up in a way that has been injuring my relationships with people I value, so that’s been motivating me to see what more I can do to choose a different path. I’m also danged tired of it hurting me. I know I’ve made headway, but it still tends to come back when I’m stressed or my mental health is in a bad way.
@Windhover, I also really like that you highlighted that it can come from trusted sources. Thank you for the wise words and resources, and much credit to you for the work you’ve clearly done on it.
I feel like my shame has been showing up in a way that has been injuring my relationships with people I value, so that’s been motivating me to see what more I can do to choose a different path. I’m also danged tired of it hurting me. I know I’ve made headway, but it still tends to come back when I’m stressed or my mental health is in a bad way.