Life is beyond me

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by reynard_muldrake, Dec 5, 2014.

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  1. reynard_muldrake

    reynard_muldrake Well-Known Member

    And as more time passes, the more appealing suicide looks. People say things will improve if you make the effort to change. If that's the case, why am I still depressed?
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    what have you tried changing? Maybe you need some help or ideas? I am sorry you're stressed right now and feel there is no way out, hopefully we can help you out of this in a safe way!
     
  3. reynard_muldrake

    reynard_muldrake Well-Known Member

    I tried meeting new people to cure loneliness. I'd hang out with someone once or twice, but it never amounted to much. We just didn't have very much to talk about.

    I'm also dependent on people to take me places as I do not have my license yet. I failed the driving test more than once. The confidence to get up and retake it is sorely lacking. As my 30th birthday approaches, it just gnaws at me more and more. How could I fail at something most people (even most of the stupid ones) pass right away?

    There's more, of course. Just not sure how to put it in words.
     
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Don't feel bad about driving, millions of people don't drive

    Is there someone you can practice with driving if you really want to? Some people learn differently while getting used to driving, I was lucky to have a seasoned drivers Ed teacher that gave me great tips that helped me get used to driving.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    It's hard to get back into a social circle again but not impossible. Talk about anything, you have nothing to lose if you feel they won't be your friends anyway in the long run. I usually start being humorous, girls compliment each other all the time so maybe that is easier for girls.

    I'm 25, I don't drive, I will never drive, I'm afraid of my life to, looks and seems scary. It's a huge responsibility..Plus not allowed to drive on meds. I wouldn't be allowed to drive on these meds anyway. I hate being reliant on others for a lift somewhere. I think if you REALLY want it, to go for it again, again....nothing to lose. Go for it, with positivity!!!

    I understand there's more that is bothering you, take it slowly and at your own pace. Good luck to you.
     
  6. reynard_muldrake

    reynard_muldrake Well-Known Member

    It wouldn't bother me so much if this area had a decent public transit system. You really need a car and license to get anywhere. And no, I don't know anyone who can really take the time to give me lessons. There are driving instructors around here, and I've used them in the past, but I can't rely on them everytime I go out driving. The costs will just add up.

    But that's not what I'm looking for. I've had too many casual friendships in the past. It's getting to the point where I don't even bother looking for friends because I know the same thing is going to happen. It just takes up too much energy and quite frankly, I'd rather not face more disappointment.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2014
  7. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I failed my driving test 4 or 5 times and was almost 26 when I finally got my license. It was another of those things I procrastinated about, but being able to drive is very important to me now. You should keep trying and eventually you will pass your test.

    I can also relate to what you have mentioned about casual friendships. When I started my new (crappy, low wage) job recently, I was invited out to play pool by one of the other people in my group. As usual, 'playing pool' ended up just amounting to sitting around in bars, drinking and chatting. Not only am I not any good at socialising, but I find it incredibly boring. So I left after 1 drink. I'm not very good at talking just for the sake of talking and this is exacerbated by the fact that I don't see the point in it. Conversation comes naturally if there is some kind of context, which is why I would prefer to participate in activities (but everyone who ever befriends me never wants to do anything enjoyable like bowling or playing squash).
     
  8. Donnanobispacem

    Donnanobispacem Well-Known Member

    I think there are times we can deal with superficial relationships, say through church or social groups, and times when it's best to be with friends or family, and if they are not available, for me at least- to be alone.

    I will have numerous hospital appointments in the new year, I told a friend I thought is a close friend I am dreading it, I just can't find enough support. She didn't offer me a ride, or offer to come over if she was so worried ( she lives 5 minutes away ) She called the police and told them I might be suicidal!

    I think it's best for me to get through this crisis alone if that's the type of 'support' I am likely to get...

    You could read some books/websites like http://www.hsperson.com/
    http://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step/dp/1572245530
    or do some self-discovery work like taking your MBTI type test, I found that really useful- I'll do a separate post on it I think, but learning why I can be an extrovert for an hour when I'm an introvert for a year...and why some of my most intense relationships are untenable!

    There are lots of tools, doesn't necessarily 'cure' loneliness but loneliness is a social construct we treat as pathological, like being single or having no family, I have accepted that I NEED to be alone a lot of the time, just to take proper care of myself.

    I don't expect any kind of intimacy or closeness from anyone in any situation these days. I had two dear friends who betrayed me within months of each other.

    I think now the fact I don't need anyone else to prop me up in daily life will lead to something else...

    I will be looking for somewhere to live long-term with public transport too. I am sick of sitting in traffic and funding the extortionate costs of keeping a vehicle.
     
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Think of the extra schooling in drivers Ed as an investment in yourself not costs added up.

    Basically make a new friend who has a car and is willing to let you practice or pay up for lessons you need.
     
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