Life seems really pointless I just need help

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by figgce, Jan 16, 2015.

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  1. figgce

    figgce New Member

    I am currently 14 years old and in grade 10. I have been depressed for over a year and a half, and it all started around November 2013. I had a girlfriend which I had been with for around half a year and we were having arguments in previous months until it eventually ended and I was just sent into sadness and around exam time, I couldn't keep up and I got D's and C's in almost all of my test and assessments where I usually used to get A's. I just lost motivation to work and all my grades from then on just kept falling. I had also been dealing with bullying since the start of high school and I had just started getting more aggressive, and near the start of February I decided I had enough of being bullied and I punched one of them in the face and broke 2 of their noses (and nearly my hand) and then I got beaten up but at least I did some damage. past then my grades stayed very low and I just started entering clinical depression blindly. I lost all motivation and I lost interest in almost everything other than either videogames, guitar or YouTube (anything that I could do absolutely alone). I had lost a lot of weight. I used to roughly weigh 132 pounds, and I weighed 103 pounds. When school ended in June 2014, my parents started notice that I had been unlike my happy and joyful self anymore and they thought I had been depressed. so they took me to a doctor who suggested I see a psychiatrist because I seemed to be suffering the symptoms of major/clinical depression. So they took me and it was very awkward. I didn't really know what to say and if I'm honest I was quite shy. after the session ended he asked me whether I'd like to continue visiting or he would give me anti-depressants. And I chose the anti-depressants. the anti-depressants worked after I started them in July. But after the summer holidays I felt a lot better, but still kind of depressed, so I stopped. I went back to school feeling good but when it came to September I started school of grade 10 MYP (continuous assessment) and in the second week of school I already 10 assessments to hand in including a 4000 word essay. and the depression started to come back. But when I thought that I had enough on my plate, my brother left to university in England. My grades became terrible and when it got to October, I tried to kill myself. <mode edit - methods> rushed to the emergency room and taken out of school for a month. My parents took me back to a psychiatrist and I took anti-depressants, but I didn't stay on them. I wanted to die. I cut and I still do. I have scars and I don't know what to do now. What should I do?
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    go back on some sort of meds and stick to them, no matter how hopeless it seems.
    try and see past more as a challenge to learn from than defeat to succumb to
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there hun, 14 is a very tough age, the transition from being a child to adult. It was my toughest year ever, I dropped out of school. I am 25 now and wish I had just switched school again but maybe I would have got bullied there too. Please do not give up on your education wherever you are. You can be what you want to be and that is true, you said you usually got A's. It might be a good idea to start on the medications again but there is a problem, they might impair your memory when studying etc.. but medication and therapy is the way to go. Good luck~!
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