I am currently 14 years old and in grade 10. I have been depressed for over a year and a half, and it all started around November 2013. I had a girlfriend which I had been with for around half a year and we were having arguments in previous months until it eventually ended and I was just sent into sadness and around exam time, I couldn't keep up and I got D's and C's in almost all of my test and assessments where I usually used to get A's. I just lost motivation to work and all my grades from then on just kept falling. I had also been dealing with bullying since the start of high school and I had just started getting more aggressive, and near the start of February I decided I had enough of being bullied and I punched one of them in the face and broke 2 of their noses (and nearly my hand) and then I got beaten up but at least I did some damage. past then my grades stayed very low and I just started entering clinical depression blindly. I lost all motivation and I lost interest in almost everything other than either videogames, guitar or YouTube (anything that I could do absolutely alone). I had lost a lot of weight. I used to roughly weigh 132 pounds, and I weighed 103 pounds. When school ended in June 2014, my parents started notice that I had been unlike my happy and joyful self anymore and they thought I had been depressed. so they took me to a doctor who suggested I see a psychiatrist because I seemed to be suffering the symptoms of major/clinical depression. So they took me and it was very awkward. I didn't really know what to say and if I'm honest I was quite shy. after the session ended he asked me whether I'd like to continue visiting or he would give me anti-depressants. And I chose the anti-depressants. the anti-depressants worked after I started them in July. But after the summer holidays I felt a lot better, but still kind of depressed, so I stopped. I went back to school feeling good but when it came to September I started school of grade 10 MYP (continuous assessment) and in the second week of school I already 10 assessments to hand in including a 4000 word essay. and the depression started to come back. But when I thought that I had enough on my plate, my brother left to university in England. My grades became terrible and when it got to October, I tried to kill myself. <mode edit - methods> rushed to the emergency room and taken out of school for a month. My parents took me back to a psychiatrist and I took anti-depressants, but I didn't stay on them. I wanted to die. I cut and I still do. I have scars and I don't know what to do now. What should I do?