she came back.... she tried to kill herself and was in the hospital... she is at home all day, but we talk so little, even though she says she likes to talk to me... its very frustrating to me because i need all the company and feel her presence... she has been like this all days, not just today, so im afraid that it will keep being like that, and that is painful to me....
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Loneliness is literally killing me...
- Thread starter painfully
- Start date
People don't like "I desperately need anyone" energy because they don't want to be someone's entire lifeline. The more you desperately search for anyone the more unlikeable you get, not because of your qualities but because basically nobody wants to feel like they are supposed to fix all emotional problems of someone they barely know. That's all there is to this problem
A significant number of people feel this way as far as desperately needy - and it's twisted into and part of the mental health crisis generally affecting society. Some people are quite good at hiding the fact that this is what motivates certain behaviours. Often they cannot or choose to not admit it to themselves, or they do but after a few years or decades of life
she came back when i said, talked for a while. she said she missed me and enjoys talking to me, then went away, and its been 2 days again...
she told me she attempted without telling me anything for fear of annoying me, but i assured her that she doenst annoying me and that she doesnt have to worry about that. she seemed to understand it... but she disappeared again... maybe she attempted.... i have no idea...
she told me she attempted without telling me anything for fear of annoying me, but i assured her that she doenst annoying me and that she doesnt have to worry about that. she seemed to understand it... but she disappeared again... maybe she attempted.... i have no idea...
she said she liked to talk to me and wanted to come live with me... although it would have been hard cause shes an adult but is still finishing high school (2 years left) and with that and the language barrier, i would have to take care of her economically... which i would do, but i cant help but notice that i always have to carry all the burdens, mine and other's... i ofc didnt tell her this.
its been 4 days since she hasnt come back. last time it was 3 days and came at night, and she was in the hospital 2 days. now its still not night but still,4 days... i dont know what could have happened, if she attempted again, or if she succeeded...
I also watched a youtube video about a young guy, in his 20s building an expensive computer... He had a big house, and he was doing it in his workshop next to his house, in the garden... And it made me want to cry... This must earn a ton of money, and his channel is very small, so he must earn a ton of money with his job... Meanwhile, Im here in my shitty apartment, with shit neighbors, being cold all the time, and lately sleeping a lot due to the cold... I just want to cry... Im too old for this, for anything, even for having a girl and turning my life around... Too much time without a girl, not having the strength to live... Even if i Had it now, the strength... Im in my last chances... Every day counts... I want to give up so much... I want to be convinced that I nobody will ever love me and there is no future for me...
its been 4 days since she hasnt come back. last time it was 3 days and came at night, and she was in the hospital 2 days. now its still not night but still,4 days... i dont know what could have happened, if she attempted again, or if she succeeded...
I also watched a youtube video about a young guy, in his 20s building an expensive computer... He had a big house, and he was doing it in his workshop next to his house, in the garden... And it made me want to cry... This must earn a ton of money, and his channel is very small, so he must earn a ton of money with his job... Meanwhile, Im here in my shitty apartment, with shit neighbors, being cold all the time, and lately sleeping a lot due to the cold... I just want to cry... Im too old for this, for anything, even for having a girl and turning my life around... Too much time without a girl, not having the strength to live... Even if i Had it now, the strength... Im in my last chances... Every day counts... I want to give up so much... I want to be convinced that I nobody will ever love me and there is no future for me...
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I'm sorry it made you feel so bad. You don't really know what this guys story is though, and even if he is rich it's not a reason to torment yourself.
Things with this new woman sound promising. Things may be bumpy, especially if she's in and out of contact, but if you both work at it things might be good for both of you.
Things with this new woman sound promising. Things may be bumpy, especially if she's in and out of contact, but if you both work at it things might be good for both of you.
Maybe I did explain myself wrong... But we talked for 4 days, then she disappeared 3 days, for the attempt. Then she came and we talked 1 day, then shes been disappeared for 4 days...
So the not enough contact is a worry yes, but so many days without contact sounds really bad, maybe she attempted again and did it this time. After the first attempt i told her she could talk to me and come to me before that and she agreed, so I dont know...
So the not enough contact is a worry yes, but so many days without contact sounds really bad, maybe she attempted again and did it this time. After the first attempt i told her she could talk to me and come to me before that and she agreed, so I dont know...
i tried to tell her, but every time we talk it feels like at any phrase she is going to disappear. she just says "i have to go do X" and goes away, doesnt even wait my goodbye or anything i could say...
i dont know how to describe it, but it seems like she doesnt have the tiniest attachment for me, even when she says that she wants to come to spain and live with me... she says that, but then 0 attachment, there is 0 glue. she just goes away like nothing. i cant understand it... when i like someone i give my full attention and all i want to do is talk or be with that person...
but most importantly, she still hasnt come back since 30/12... so we didnt talk...
i dont know how to describe it, but it seems like she doesnt have the tiniest attachment for me, even when she says that she wants to come to spain and live with me... she says that, but then 0 attachment, there is 0 glue. she just goes away like nothing. i cant understand it... when i like someone i give my full attention and all i want to do is talk or be with that person...
but most importantly, she still hasnt come back since 30/12... so we didnt talk...
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She posted an hour ago in reddit for some random shit... And she didnt message me or anything... This is hurting me... I dont know if she was hospitalized or just didnt want to talk to me... On top of that, i saw one guy replied to her post weeks ago and called her by name and hes from the same country... 8 days ago when she disappeared the guy posted asking where he could take a girl that had depression and other stuff that matched her to make her comfortable... So maybe they went out and she just backstabbed me...
She never had friends or boyfriend or anything. She doenst go out at all... And it had to be now when she meets some other dude... I mean, im not 100% sure this happened, but he fucking coincidences...
But honestly, fuck it... I should just kill myself. I feel like an idiot for trying...
She never had friends or boyfriend or anything. She doenst go out at all... And it had to be now when she meets some other dude... I mean, im not 100% sure this happened, but he fucking coincidences...
But honestly, fuck it... I should just kill myself. I feel like an idiot for trying...
Long post...
No, lol, we are not a couple... Ofc she can do whatever she wants, even if we were a couple... That doesnt stop it from hurting me. As I said, she wanted to cuddle with me and said that she wanted to live with me, which tbh is something that Im not usually told even the few times I talked with girls that I thought that was going ok.
We cant really be a couple cause we talked so little... I dont want to count it in days, but the conversations were "short" for my taste, several hours, but poor interaction.... I think it was 5 days, then she disappeared for 4, then 1, then 8 days... I need much more than that to feel trust and feel like I actually matter and we could be a couple...
I messaged that guy and it turns out hes a classmate of hers and shes going to school again... I didnt know she went back. She told me she went for 1 day, then stopped, so I thought she stopped. Thats how little we talk. But even then so, she doesnt communicate her situation to me at all. Just the most basic stuff, like "I can talk for half hour" and basically anything, like the school thing.
The guy told her that I was worried about her, and she messaged me on reddit saying that her parents took her phone away and she was using the school laptop for that message (its at her home). She said that she thought that I didnt want to talk to her and I asked if hated her... I honestly cannot comprehend this line of thought when all I do is validate her and treat her with care and affection. Never ever told her anything but that... But she only said that and didnt come... I dont understand why since the laptop is at her room...
How can I reassure her if she just goes away? I simply cannot. After she attempted to kill herself I told her to ALWAYS come to me first, that Im would not be mad or bothered or anything bad that she could think of (I cannot comprehend why she would think that). She agreed that she would come to me first, so I felt reassured... But again she thought I dont want to talk to her... If I didnt try to talk to that guy she might have not come ever again to talk tome, even when she gets her phone again... Its very frustrating feeling like I have to be in alert mode and think of every possibility, and be on edge...
And about her phone taken away, I dont know anything. Maybe she went no contact 4 days, and her parents took her phone on the 4th day, or maybe it was the whole reason she didnt talk to me... This doesnt mean that she didnt go out with that guy... And from the way he talks about her he seems very interested in her...
No, lol, we are not a couple... Ofc she can do whatever she wants, even if we were a couple... That doesnt stop it from hurting me. As I said, she wanted to cuddle with me and said that she wanted to live with me, which tbh is something that Im not usually told even the few times I talked with girls that I thought that was going ok.
We cant really be a couple cause we talked so little... I dont want to count it in days, but the conversations were "short" for my taste, several hours, but poor interaction.... I think it was 5 days, then she disappeared for 4, then 1, then 8 days... I need much more than that to feel trust and feel like I actually matter and we could be a couple...
I messaged that guy and it turns out hes a classmate of hers and shes going to school again... I didnt know she went back. She told me she went for 1 day, then stopped, so I thought she stopped. Thats how little we talk. But even then so, she doesnt communicate her situation to me at all. Just the most basic stuff, like "I can talk for half hour" and basically anything, like the school thing.
The guy told her that I was worried about her, and she messaged me on reddit saying that her parents took her phone away and she was using the school laptop for that message (its at her home). She said that she thought that I didnt want to talk to her and I asked if hated her... I honestly cannot comprehend this line of thought when all I do is validate her and treat her with care and affection. Never ever told her anything but that... But she only said that and didnt come... I dont understand why since the laptop is at her room...
How can I reassure her if she just goes away? I simply cannot. After she attempted to kill herself I told her to ALWAYS come to me first, that Im would not be mad or bothered or anything bad that she could think of (I cannot comprehend why she would think that). She agreed that she would come to me first, so I felt reassured... But again she thought I dont want to talk to her... If I didnt try to talk to that guy she might have not come ever again to talk tome, even when she gets her phone again... Its very frustrating feeling like I have to be in alert mode and think of every possibility, and be on edge...
And about her phone taken away, I dont know anything. Maybe she went no contact 4 days, and her parents took her phone on the 4th day, or maybe it was the whole reason she didnt talk to me... This doesnt mean that she didnt go out with that guy... And from the way he talks about her he seems very interested in her...