Most of the times i chat with someone I dont list anything. And i always carry the conversation and they make no effort. So "knowing me" is a moot point.
About terminal illness, there is literally no point to it. I need somebody to stay, not somebody that is going to die. I dont mind a lot of illnesses, but terminal directly goes against what I need. And also, somebody who is terminal would be in a very bad state of everything, not just clockwise.
And about desperate girls, I already tried that for a lot of time and I keep trying. I have been combing the reddits suicidewatch, depression, autism, and others for months, I messaged hundreds of girls and most dont reply back. And I didnt message just anyone, I read their post, saw what they said and if I saw a possibility I messaged them. But it also happens that most are very far away, so eventually I stopped doing this.... But I did this for months, probably 2 years, time is so same that I cant tell.
I did put a lot of effort and it was exhausting, every day hving to do this. And in the end nothing and nothing and rejection after rejection.
I messaged 2 girls last week in reddit, one with autism and the other idk. One was very dependent and said she really needed someone... I carried the conversation hard, she almost didnt talk so I eventually just stoped. The asperger one seemed nice and was very lonely too... Next day I messaged her and she didnt reply back... I insisted several times a couple days, but nohting, and she keeps posting, so she just doesnt want me. Both of these were from europe too, but from other countries... But I think didnt influence them for behaving like this, they just didnt want me. THe asperger one was hurtful cause I th ought she was nice...
And finding these two was "luck"... I go weeks without having any chance of finding anyone.
Not even desperate girls want me
idk where to find anybody. im very tired and im exhausted of living and this pain