Loosing a Parent....

[Sea Sparkles]

I lost my father, and have had a hard time coping. He was only 44, way too young. There is so much shock that fills me. So much grief.......so numb. As next-of-kin, I have to put on the face, and be OK. Sort everything. When all I want is to hide......

 

[Were all together]

Sorry about your loss. It's difficult to put on a "face" to show courage. However, there's no harm in showing feelings at a viewing or service. Put aside time for your own grieving. Even if it's for a couple hours. But, please don't bottle those feelings up. You'll regret it later.

 

[JacsMom]

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Yes, he was much too young to pass. I don't think you need to worry about putting on a "face". Those that love you will understand your grief. There is nothing wrong with crying and not being "yourself". This is a horrible time for you and no one should expect you to be ok. I hope you have someone to lean on while you're going through this. Please feel free to message me if you need a shoulder. Sending you hugs.

 

[may71]

Hugs Sea Sparkles

Do you want to say more about this?

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

Very sorry, Sea Sparkles. @Were all together and @JacsMom are right, grieving and not being 'ok' at a time like this are perfectly natural reactions and shouldn't be suppressed. When awful things like this happen, it's part of the healing process.

 

[Sea Sparkles]

I'm not sure there is much to say. In less than 2 hours, I'll face 2019, knowing my father isn't alive and wont be with me, this up-coming year. I get married in four months, and my father wont be walking me down the aisle. We weren't on speaking terms, but I had planned before this year ended to speak with him. He was doing so well. And I was proud. Trust was getting built from a far and I had planned to confront him, and give him a chance. It was not suppose to end like this.

 

[Were all together]

I'm not sure there is much to say. In less than 2 hours, I'll face 2019, knowing my father isn't alive and wont be with me, this up-coming year. I get married in four months, and my father wont be walking me down the aisle. We weren't on speaking terms, but I had planned before this year ended to speak with him. He was doing so well. And I was proud. Trust was getting built from a far and I had planned to confront him, and give him a chance. It was not suppose to end like this.

I know it hurts. I lost my father unexpectedly on Jan 2, 2006. The words " tomorrow is never promised" never rang more true. Just remember, he'll always be with you.

 

[may71]

I had a lot of unresolved issues with my dad that I wish we had worked out before he died. Not that I thought that everything was going to get worked out, but we could have at least said our peace to each other.

Sorry that you're dealing with something similar.

44 is a young age to die. Do you want to say what happened?

 

[Sea Sparkles]

The cause of death is unkown and could take up to 90 days to know what happened, and they said, there might never be an answer. There are so many unanswered questions, including an investigation. All they know, is he was in the shower for 19 hours. No further information was given. It breaks my heart to think about. How cold, and alone he was. What happened? Why? How? The corners aren't sure. The ache hurts so badly.

 

[may71]

It's terrible not to know.

It breaks my heart to think about. How cold, and alone he was

Please don't torment yourself imagining what might have happened. He may have died right away, it just that he was in the shower for a long time before he was found.

 

[Sea Sparkles]

His roommate said he went to take a shower at 7pm that day, however the estimated time he died was 12am-2am, and we found him around 9am the next day.

 

[may71]

we found him around 9am the next day

It's hard to have to come face to face with that.

Finding my dad is something that's run through my mind many times. He was still alive, but not conscious.

 

[klc71]

Hi Sea Sparkles. I totally understand what you're going through. I lost my mom this past August and it's been rough. I replay August 1st in my head everyday. I wish I could tell you its going to be easy but if I did, I'd be lying to you. You will have ok days and you will have not ok days and it's ok to not be ok. My family, friends and members of this site has been very supportive to me and. We will all do the same for you as well. Take care ok

 

[moxman]

Maybe write him a letter expressing how you felt about him and let everything out?

Have you thought about seeing a grief counselor?

 

[crazyk]

Hugs sea sparkles. I lost my dad unexpectedly when he was 51. I was devastated. How are you doing?