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Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by MadeOfGlass, Mar 3, 2013.

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  1. MadeOfGlass

    MadeOfGlass Well-Known Member

    My boyfriend started figuring out how little I've been eating and that I'm losing weight, so he checks in to make sure that I'm eating enough everyday. However I mentally cannot handle eating enough, so I've been lying about what I eat. And I keep telling him it's okay, that I've got everything under control, and that's a lie too.

    I feel so fucking guilty about it and I feel out of control but I can't stop. When I eat too much I throw up and then I starve until I get dizzy and it's this addictive cycle I can't get out of but also don't want to get out of. Once I get a job I'm already planning to start buying diet pills because I need to lose as much weight as I can even though I know I shouldn't be doing this.

    I'm deathly afraid of going back to therapy or going back on medication and so I can't let on how bad things are getting in my head. And I can't let anyone know that I'm like this until I've lost more weight.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have also lied to loved ones about things I have done that were clearly not in my best interest...I think many of us have...but it should be a call to action to reconsider therapy and alike...it is terribly difficult to challenge an eating disorder by yourself, especially when many of our perceptions, mostly those about our body image and good health, are not reliable...please think about this and see if you can work on these issues again...although the work is difficult, so is carrying around the guilt and creating the illnesses which come from an ED
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I had a friend who suffers from anorexia, she's so thin they don't even expect her to eat food anymore, just nutritious drinks and she even lies about drinking them. I can understand how it can become a vicious cycle, I would recommend therapy to get some help from professionals, you do not have to suffer alone.
  4. f5j23jk2

    f5j23jk2 Well-Known Member

    To lie is to live in fear of the truth.
    Please don't lie anymore.
  5. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    the best advice i can give is always back up what you've said to people. I am someone in the same boat to you x
  6. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    Sweety, please come clean. These lies would eventually pile up then eat you up too. Tell the people you trust most. You could ask them to help you get the help you need. Plus the support would be good for you. Hugs from me.
  7. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Those who lie don't realise they also need a good memory and think that because they're not challenged they've been believed. Few do challenge lies. Most of us just don't believe anything after the first couple of untruths.
  8. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    it also depends on if you want help or not as well x
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