I have mentioned this before on here but I guess I'm kind of asking for advice. I don't know when this started, it could have started when I was 3, as that was the first time I tried to hurt myself and wanted to die. Maybe 6 after I was molested. I became aware of something when I was 11, at least knowledge that I wasn't alone in my head. The first time I noticed it was after I had been unable to sleep for about 2 days straight. Partly I didn't want to sleep because of nightmares and I couldn't fall asleep anyways. At the time I blamed it on lack of sleep or maybe voices, but that is not the case. After I was traumatized at the last institution I was at, I knew my former self had died, but becuase they are back now I believe it was one of my dominate personalities, maybe my actual personality even. I realized they might be personalities earlier this year and I am positive of it now, because my dominate personality had changed twice in recent memory, once six years ago and again a month ago. There are three classes of these personalities: I have two dominate ones, that decide values and have the ultimate say in descisions, and also regulate my likes and dislikes. 4-5 major personalities, who advise, help make descisions, and give support, these are the ones that "talk". And around 15-20 (maybe more) that are minor personalities, these personalities don't talk but the can project memories, images, and experiences, they also "take control" of me in various situations that I cannot fuction in (in other words I need them in everyday life, I can't do anything without them at all). I say they are personalities because all of them have things they like and dislike, have diffrent genders, have their own opinions and values (exception of the minor peraonalities), they are even diffrent ages. Their thought processes are diffrent from "me" they are from "outside" myself essentially. They aren't audio hallucinations, as I don't "hear" them, I have had audio hallucinations of music so I do know the diffrence. They are more like your conscious, but a several consciouses of distinct individuals. I don't have MPD/DID, I know all of the personalities are there, I don't have lapses in memory when the personalities switch. Nor does my behavior change when a personality switch occures, it is a totally internal process unlike MPD. My external behavior has never changed ever. I haven't been through any severe trauma. Though my minor personalities are dissociative. I do have some kind of personality disorder, most likely Avoidant Personality Disorder, or really, really severe social anxiety and fear of people in general. Along with severely limited emotional expression, and very, very low emotional inteligence. But AvPD dosen't explain the personalities. I doubt BPD or any personality disorder with anger or impulse control issues, anger is not an emotion I experience, and things I do impulsively are very, very, very rare. I dont know if or if it really matters, but I have suspected CEN had the largest part on this, though I don't even believe that. It could be schizophrenia, but I really, really hope not, because that is a life sentence and I will not live that way. I am too young to diagnose or even have symptoms of schizophrenia. Or I was just born retarded and I am just imagining everything. But I already know I'm crazy and it is too late to do anything about it.