Maybe .A new Way of coping for me

[1Lefty]

The past couple of days, I;ve been musing a thought that didn't seem to find a place. The thought regarded types of movies- I'm a sucker for the underdog, dismissed by society or his chosen field, then redeemed -such as Harvey, Field of Dreams, Sea Biscuit, Rocky, dozens more I can't think of right now.

The connection became that I could be the narrator of my own Billion-to-1, come from behind, victory. Naturally, it would require my living, coherent , self to accomplish. A goal, some reason for continuing my life. And I can't think of anyone who deserves a biography than Alesia.Writing about her seems to soothe
me sometimes.

Oh, well, just an untested thought before bed.May be inteersting to see how it stands uo against a full-tilt grief strike.

Good night.

 

[total eclipse]

I hope you have a good night sleep hugs

 

[1Lefty]

Yes, another pretty good sleep. Some of the day was ok, some the typical brutal.

I did come off with a fantasy involving my wife. Alesia and I tossing a football around an autumn yard full of leaves - but I have no age attached- preschoolers, gradeschoolers, high school, college? "How far do I go ?" I ask her, "All the way, I'll get it there" . Meaningless? Subliminal? A message I'm supposed to learn now?

It brought a mild smile to my face, then plenty of tears and agony later.

 

[Sadeyes]

Just sending my caring and hope there are other nights of good sleep...my best friend, the person who loved me unconditionally and with all of his soul, died twenty years ago, and I miss him everyday...but I also know how fortunate I am to have loved and been loved in that way...it is truly rare...but I do know the pain of being the one who was left (pun intended) here...please PM me if I can be there for you...and it does seem to be a real gift to others, and to yourself, to write about your love for your wife...J

 

[1Lefty]

Thank you Sadeyes for your perspective, this really helped

"my best friend, the person who loved me unconditionally and with all of his soul, died twenty years ago, and I miss him everyday...but I also know how fortunate I am to have loved and been loved in that way...it is truly rare""

Thank you again, I needed that thought today to help my own thoughts manage