Me not

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Dewonderland, Jan 12, 2015.

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  1. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member

    I saw all those post in the forum with people with ED ... and usually who stopped eating.
    I had this super stupid thought : how lucky they are !

    Though I know it's also something very serious.
    But I thought that I wish I could stop eating just for one day and what I really thought was cool was to be able to do that.
    As they are getting their body used to refuse food I got my body used to accept food weither I'm hungry or not at all.
    Feeling sick afterward for all the junkfood I suddenly absorb and feeling so ashamed to act like such an animal.

    It's just this comforting feeling when I eat that I seek for.
    I try to avoid the mirror and there will be no one to tell me that I am not fat.
    But somehow I am such a failure that might just be what fits me the best : fat ugly and stupid.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    So sorry that you feel down but you a wonderful person. The reason that I say.that is because you support others. I read your encouragement for others in your posts today.

    Don't be hard on yourself, as it's a hard life with an ED problem. You struggle everyday like others here but it's about surviving.on a day by day basis. You are a wonderful person and it what counts on the inside not the outside..

    Don't be hard on yourself but I hope these words bring some comfort. Just think someone, some where does care.

    It's ok to cry a little tear whilst you read this but keep reading post when you are down.

    If you want to talk just PM me day or night. Take care and be safe.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    As another comfort eater, I totally understand what you are saying and feeling.
    I don't have any miracle answer, other than there are a number of us about the forum and we try and help each other with diet and nutrition where we can. Sometimes it's just the offer of a friendly ear (or in this case eye lol) when someone is really struggling.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, you are not a failure and you are not stupid. You are struggling and it is always okay to admit we need help sometimes. I am over weight, I am seeing a dietitianlyperhaps it would be a good idea for you to see one. Keep posting here if it helps and try not to be so angry at yourself. You are only human hun.
  5. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    :hug I understand, all 5'2" 250 pounds of me.... :( I wish I had an answer, or even a clue.
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    As a person that used to eat junky 4 meals a day, Im now addicted not eating a day at a time, my records 5 days in a row.
    Some days I'll only eat 200-500 calories (mostly protein shakes) other days it's one meal for the day. If I eat two meals I feel fat and bloated then refuse eat the next day. I'm stuck in a bad cycle and I know it but I want it as it makes me feel good. But whenever I feel hungry I do try to eat. I know I'm on the bad road to ED. Some days it's worth it, other days it's not worth it. I've dropped 50lbs since Aug 2014 and still have 50 to go to hit 130
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