Well what a fucking disaster... things have been heading to hell in the fast lane the last few days. At work today my boss went off at me and had a go at my lack of work ethic and poor customer service. Doing the usual cell phone call out in the street thing so no one can hear it being dished out to me (leave no witnesses - that's how this business operates) If the abuse was justified I would take it but it really wasn't and I found myself getting more and more upset as the day wore on. Luckily my psychiatrist is 15 minutes walking distance from my workplace and he said he could see me after he'd seen his last patient of the day. The walk took me through the shopping centre and I could feel myself falling apart the closer I got and by the time I got to his waiting room the tears were welling up - really unlike me to show any emotion.
Anyway the doc was good once I'd finished my emotional outburst in his office and I told him how the last week had just destroyed me and I had never felt this way on or off medication and I was very close to ending it. He offered to have me hospitalised but I am against taking up a bed when there are people far worse than me that could be using it so we came to the conclusion that maybe mirtazapine really isn't the right thing for me so I've stopped taking it. He's given me enough valium to get me through to Friday when he will see me next and decide what we can do. I feel awful, it's been a really bad choice but I know it works well for some like @Petal obviously it was a real life-changer but for me it has set me backwards in a big way and ripped some big holes in my family that will take a lot of time to heal if ever. I don't blame the doc - you never unless you try but this has been a really bad decision. He's given me a medical certificate for a few days just to allow me to get my head together. Right now I'm just devastated and completely exhausted.
Anyway the doc was good once I'd finished my emotional outburst in his office and I told him how the last week had just destroyed me and I had never felt this way on or off medication and I was very close to ending it. He offered to have me hospitalised but I am against taking up a bed when there are people far worse than me that could be using it so we came to the conclusion that maybe mirtazapine really isn't the right thing for me so I've stopped taking it. He's given me enough valium to get me through to Friday when he will see me next and decide what we can do. I feel awful, it's been a really bad choice but I know it works well for some like @Petal obviously it was a real life-changer but for me it has set me backwards in a big way and ripped some big holes in my family that will take a lot of time to heal if ever. I don't blame the doc - you never unless you try but this has been a really bad decision. He's given me a medical certificate for a few days just to allow me to get my head together. Right now I'm just devastated and completely exhausted.
