Miscommunication at Work

[Snake on the Moon]

Not even sure where to start, here goes nothing!

I've had my current job for about three and a half years. Things have escalated in a few areas for a while now. I'm not sure if I should quit and find a new job, or just wait it out a little longer and keep trying to resolve the current issues.

The current situation:
• 3/4 people working in my department. One of us, my supervisor, had to leave due to severe health issues. She is currently going through chemotherapy to treat ovarian cancer. We don't expect her to return any time soon, although she hopes to be well enough in April to come back and work for us.
• Down on sales. This is stressing out the owner, and he's been acting strangely. This is normal because he's obviously worried about profits, and that's fine. What isn't fine however is that I feel like he doesn't really accept me as part of the team. I'm probably being irrational about this, but, he doesn't acknowledge me when I offer an idea or a way of resolving an issue. This could be partly because of the next reason...
• There's a ten year age gap between myself and everyone else working in the office. I'm 27, the next person is about 37/38 right now. (Not sure when her birthday is.) A lot of the time, things get blamed on me because I'm the youngest, am the 'newbie' of the office, and am always having to watch my back and cover my ass in fear of being blamed again. This is not only stressful for me, but also incredibly unfair. I work hard, and while I'm keeping track of my time and making sure that I don't go over my allotted break time (and usually end up doing at least 1/2 hour unaccounted overtime for daily because I don't usually take my coffee breaks) I have to watch the other employees have 40 minute conversations about the television shows they watched, or what they're doing for renovations in their house, etc. I've timed these situations. Some times, when the office isn't as busy, there's conversations that can go off and on for an hour, between a quick phone call or customer at the service desk. EVEN if there is work to be done, they're not working! It's frustrating!
• The biggest issue: Miscommunication. There's a lot of gossip and friendly chatter going around, but when it comes to all of the departments keeping in touch with each other, it's nearly impossible for people to do.
I myself, when I see an error somewhere, will bring it up. This has gotten me in trouble before for 'speaking out.' There was one situation where I got yelled at, literally, for calling someone out on something, and, as luck would have it, we lost a good paying customer because of this error that was ignored. I CALLED IT AND THEY DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME!!!
Furthermore, there are two people in the office that keep asking me questions about others in the office because they are too chicken to ask the person themselves. I tell them that they should ask so-and-so, because it's their job and their copy, and I'm not a superhuman that can read minds. Ask the person that made the written copy in the first place. This has started a number of chaos in my world because both of them (more one than the other) are saying vicious things behind my back to other people in the workplace. I bet the owner has heard this too, because he's been ignoring me even more than usual.
I've also had a lot of people in the office gossip about pretty much everyone else that works there, and from experience I know that when people gossip to you about others, those same people are also likely to gossip about you to someone else when you're not there. So it's not just the two I spoke of, I know there's been talks about me when I haven't been there. Not to mention the amount of times that I've caught people in the act and talking about me. And the owner does nothing about it. Nothing. Everything is fine. His excuse is 'women gossip' and that's that. But it's also the men too!! He's being extremely sexist, and I've also caught him talking about the asses of the female employees to the other men there too. What the actual fuck?? He's old enough to be my grandfather for crying out loud! When I caught him talking it wasn't about me, but my crazy imagination is thinking "oh god, he's a total pervert!" and i don't feel safe anymore.

I think I'm starting to get fed up with everything about that place.

On the other hand, they pay me well, they are incredibly flexible so if I need a couple of hours off for a dental appointment or something they're alright with that. I doubt I'll be able to find another work environment that is so lenient when it comes to taking holidays or switching work hours around. And while the owner may be gross, he's also a nice guy at times too. He buys everyone some kind of gift on their birthday and always brings back souvenirs for everyone in the office when he leaves on vacation too.

I'm finding it difficult to stay positive when I feel there's a lot of things that could be better, and aren't. A lot of the issues could be dealt with and resolved by having a staff meeting, and allowing everyone to speak their mind about what is frustrating them and to come to a conclusion on what sort of action needs to be taken. I'm not the only one unhappy with these conditions, and I know of this because of all the gossip and talking that I hear while I'm sitting at my desk. It's an open office so sound carries quite easily.

I just don't know anymore...

 

[Snake on the Moon]

Not to mention that I don't feel safe because of what I've heard my coworkers say about the LGBT community too... I'm bisexual, and I have to hear them talk down about gays, lesbians, and trans people too. I'm scared to say anything, because now that I know how they feel about us, I'm afraid that if I stand up and come out to them that I will lose my job.

 

[may71]

I suppose that you could look for a new job, and spend time getting to know what the work environment is like before making a decision.

If the place is having trouble making profits, and people there aren't doing their work, and they aren't making changes that they they need to be made to keep customers, then this place has big problems.

It might be better for you to start looking for work now, rather than waiting for a round of lay-offs, or the place shutting down completely.

 

[Snake on the Moon]

I suppose that you could look for a new job, and spend time getting to know what the work environment is like before making a decision.

If the place is having trouble making profits, and people there aren't doing their work, and they aren't making changes that they they need to be made to keep customers, then this place has big problems.

It might be better for you to start looking for work now, rather than waiting for a round of lay-offs, or the place shutting down completely.

Thank you for your reply, I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only one that sees it being an issue. I tend to be uncertain of myself when it comes to big decisions.

I actually have looked at job listings and found a couple that look promising. It would mean a lot of driving on my part because of a commute but hey, do what you have to right?

And it's really difficult to just leave the other two people in my department high and dry. While they do gossip a lot, and some of the comments they make really hurt to hear because they're being cruel or insulting me without them even knowing that they're insulting me to my face. (They don't like bisexuals.) That would basically mean that I'm leaving the two of them to do all the work themselves. One of them has two young children and she spends enough time away from her kids, let alone trying to find someone to look after her kids while she's at work sometimes. Her husband also works away. While it would be nice to show them how much I've been taken for granted, I just don't know if I can leave them right away.

I feel the humane thing to do would to be there until a fourth person is hired, and then actively seek out opportunities at that point in time. That way, I wouldn't have a guilty conscience and I'd also be able to find a more suitable work environment for myself.

The conundrum in a nutshell is, given the stress I'm in and dealing with, plus the emotional turmoil I go through hearing all this backstabbing going on ( I don't get people) will I be able to make it without snapping? I've been incredibly irritable and it's scaring me. I broke my phone today because I was mad that my touch screen wasn't cooperating. Last time this happened it was at a job where I was being sexually harassed by my boss, and I ended up leaving them two weeks later.

I have a counseling appointment this Wednesday and I fully intend to leak out all the details then and hopefully see what the best course of action would be at this moment in time. I hate to be the one that leaves them high and dry, but maybe it really is time for all of them to have a wake up call.

 

[nobodyknows71]

Hi snake, I'm sorry your job is not working for you, but you can't stay there because of other people's circumstances. It's not your fault the others don't see their kids much.
You need to put yourself first. Always. Getting to the point of being angry enough to break your phone is not a good sign.
Do you think they will hire the fourth person given the way things are? You could end up waiting for something that doesn't end up happening.
Maybe it's time to take the bull by the horns and move on. Good luck

 

[may71]

Agree with much of what NK71 said. You're not a slave to the company, and neither are your coworkers. If they don't like their jobs, they can leave too.

If you find a new job that you like but which is far away, maybe you can relocate.

 

[Northern]

It's hard to judge from the outside but i think you will have to modify your behavior/attitude even in another company.

You cannot call people out. Specially in front of other people. Other workers and bosses hate that. You can be sure that you will be everyone #1 target even if you do a great work.

Learn to accept hypocrisy. In our society It's ok to say bad things about people when they don't or aren't supposed to hear. It might be wrong but it's just the way it is.

Also men are pigs, you'll have to learn to live with it because i don't think it's gonna change. Some behaviors are not ok (touching, being vulgar in front of the woman etc) but guys talking about the ass of a woman in private is the kind of stuff you will see everywhere. By the way women do that too.

Good luck with everything. Like other have said, if you want to leave don't feel bad, private companies will never feel bad for you.

 

[Snake on the Moon]

It's hard to judge from the outside but i think you will have to modify your behavior/attitude even in another company.

You cannot call people out. Specially in front of other people. Other workers and bosses hate that. You can be sure that you will be everyone #1 target even if you do a great work.

Learn to accept hypocrisy. In our society It's ok to say bad things about people when they don't or aren't supposed to hear. It might be wrong but it's just the way it is.

Also men are pigs, you'll have to learn to live with it because i don't think it's gonna change. Some behaviors are not ok (touching, being vulgar in front of the woman etc) but guys talking about the ass of a woman in private is the kind of stuff you will see everywhere. By the way women do that too.

Good luck with everything. Like other have said, if you want to leave don't feel bad, private companies will never feel bad for you.

Thank you for the honesty.

I know that calling them out on a particular deal wasn't a great move, especially since I was the new person at the time. They created an ad campaign that targeted a local business, although indirectly. However since they are the only related business of that kind in the area, it was clear that it was intended to make them look bad, and I felt that it would in turn make our company look terrible.

I think the fact that I was right on my feelings about the job, that was what really brought a lot of resentment towards me. Had I been incorrect they probably wouldn't have been as malicious.

You're right about having to modify my behavior/attitude though. I've had jobs in the past where I've let things get to me far too easily.

 

[Striking]

Control the things you can and let the rest go. Inappropriate conversation? Say so. People slacking and you're not the supervisor? Let it go.

Talk to your boss about how you can help him and the company with your knowlege and expertise. Avoid mentioning other employees. See if that leads anywhere.

 

[Snake on the Moon]

Update on work conditions:

The owner of the company approached me, and actually had a heart to heart with me.

He asked what was going on, if I was doing okay, and if I would be staying with the company. I was stunned, actually. I didn't expect him to be concerned about me as a human being at all. (I get that he needs me to stay and be a productive employee, but he was actually making sure I was okay. That was a nice surprise.)

I told him I was stressed out with life in general (also work) and was having trouble sleeping at night too. He gave suggestions as to how I might be able to sleep better because he has similar problems. He told me about why he was having a difficult time hiring a new person, because no one wants to work for a couple of months and then just be laid off. We are still expecting my supervisor to come back at this point. Her cancer treatments are going really well.

Big boss has also been noticing how there's a lot of chatter going around. I can see his desk from where I sit and I've noticed how he looks at people that are talking. Interesting, to say the least.

So yeah, he just seemed to have come out of nowhere and just asked me about life, and I feel a lot better knowing that he cares. Work is still stressful, but I plan to stick it out just a bit longer. We'll see how it goes.

 

[nobodyknows71]

Hey snake, so glad to hear things are going a bit better for you. It's always nice to know that someone's noticed you. And to notice that maybe you were struggling, and just to check that you're ok.

I'm recovering from cancer myself and to be honest I'm finding harder to get back to work than I thought I would even though my treatment has gone well and is finished now.

Wishing you a great day

Take care

 

[Walker]

Hi snake, I'm glad things are feeling a little lighter for you right now. I hope it continues.



@may71 You've been here SIX YEARS and no avatar? Really? Come on.

 

[may71]

@may71 You've been here SIX YEARS and no avatar? Really? Come on.

I'll get around to eventually. Give me some time

 

[Walker]

I'll get around to eventually. Give me some time

Quit trying to be so inpermanent. (Is that a word?) Haha

 

[Snake on the Moon]

Quit trying to be so inpermanent. (Is that a word?) Haha

Impermanent, yes.

 

[may71]

The theme of impermanence goes well with avalanchefan's signature quote

 

[Walker]

Don't ya'll try to logic me. This is over an avatar, not life. haha You're harder to find with no pic, plain & simple, @may71 & You're one of those I look forward to seeing. By not having one you look new (or impermanent - thanks @Snake on the Moon) Ok, I'll knock it off. Thanks for the fun. Both of you. :eek::rolleyes::cool:

 

[Walker]

Sorry for stealing your thread & hijacking it to hell Snake.

 

[Snake on the Moon]

Sorry for stealing your thread & hijacking it to hell Snake.

Oh no, not at all! I'm fully enjoying this!

 

[Walker]

Oh no, not at all! I'm fully enjoying this!

Well I'm here to keep people amused and all, eh.
I did run right over the topic though and now anyone that shows up and is gonna be like... eh, that thread is dead. What kind of job do you DO anyway? The way you write it is vague, it could be anything. Something office-like?