Hello, I'm Cassandra, I'm from boring, ignorant, backwards, alabama. That's all I want to say for now about me as I'm skeptical if I'll even be here long....I was banned from another website, where I had friends(I don't have any friends in real life) because, apparently, talking about allowing yourself to die if you don't find a mother figure(my biological mom gave me up at birth) and/or a loving friend is "harrassing". Now I'm cut off from them. I was first diagnosed with depression over 12 years ago, and not long after that, agoraphobia. I've always had social anxiety, though, and it's made it nearly impossible for me to meet anyone. And since I live in a small redneck town in Alabama, and I'm different from the norm....nobody around here likes me or even bothers with me. It's not possible for me to move either, as I am on disability and it's barely enough to pay bills or buy groceries. I've reached the point to where I'm tired of living. If I had the guts to kill myself I'd already be dead.....so instead I'm drinking hard....and this tooth infection I have...well...I've refused antibiotics and any kind of help. The doctor told me it could kill me in a year as it's really bad. Good. I can't live with all this loneliness anymore. The people I want to be friends with usually don't like me or get the wrong impression. And I'm so sick of it being guys only wanting to take advantage or use me.I've been abused to much in my life by guys, and my family. I've reached the point to where I just want to be friends with girls or feminine guys.