I live in Italy, but my mum is from Indonesia, so I have my grandparents there. The last time I've been in Indonesia was 8 years ago. This summer I was suppose to go there to meet my grandparents, expecially my grandpa. He was ill, so I wanted to stay with him for the last time.. But I was very late.. He died on the 7th of March of this year. I feel very very very guilty, because the past years I had the opportunity to go in Indonesia, but I didn't, I don't know why. Maybe I've been thought that there were other things more important than this.. I was so stupid. Now I miss him, I've never seen him for 8 years. I miss him so bad, but now I have no chance to see him.. I feel like I have a weight in my heart. I can't forgive myself for this. He loved me so much, and I wasn't able to make him understand that I've never forgot him and I've loved him very much and I love him right now.. A part of my heart is died with him in that 7th march..