its late at nite and now the thoughts are more intense, should i take the pills so that I don't have another nite like the last, do i take the razor to cleanse my soul before i enter heaven...my heads all over the place. I want to die, I want to end the pain, the misery, the intense emotions that I can't deal with I want to stop men from hurting me anymore, i want to feel l clean and here on earth I can't do that. i'm not loved by any family, I was outcarsed...forgotton about, to them I'm better off dead, to me life scares me and death doesn''t.
at nite I lay and look at the stars
wondering if this will be my last
a single tear falls from eye
I have to ask myself and wonder why
why mum u couldn't love me
is their something so wrong with me
that not once u could cuddle me
or even listen to what I would say
u couldn't even read a book
not once would u even look
look at me as ur daughter
not this person u see as so mean
I'm not nasty mum,
I only ever wanted ur love
I wanted u to be proud
instead alone I stood in the croud.
nothin I did was ever good enough
you just stand, look at me and laugh
it hurts mum
it really hurts.
I try to show u that I care
but ur response is unfair
why can't u be there
even if u don't care
mum please tell me what I have to do
so u can just say the words I love u
tell me what I need to say
so can give me some of that care.
all those years off feeling hurt
has finally taken its toll.
I don't have the answers
and I know u won't ever tell
it hurt so much to see u in pain
I tried my best but it was o'so plain
that u hated me from the time I was born
I tried mum, I really tried.
Inside i'm torn, never having felt ur love
inside I'm dead, just waiting for the call from above
don't be mad, or upset
just try to forget
U always said I was daddys little girl
well mum now
Im just daddys little suicide girl
at nite I lay and look at the stars
wondering if this will be my last
a single tear falls from eye
I have to ask myself and wonder why
why mum u couldn't love me
is their something so wrong with me
that not once u could cuddle me
or even listen to what I would say
u couldn't even read a book
not once would u even look
look at me as ur daughter
not this person u see as so mean
I'm not nasty mum,
I only ever wanted ur love
I wanted u to be proud
instead alone I stood in the croud.
nothin I did was ever good enough
you just stand, look at me and laugh
it hurts mum
it really hurts.
I try to show u that I care
but ur response is unfair
why can't u be there
even if u don't care
mum please tell me what I have to do
so u can just say the words I love u
tell me what I need to say
so can give me some of that care.
all those years off feeling hurt
has finally taken its toll.
I don't have the answers
and I know u won't ever tell
it hurt so much to see u in pain
I tried my best but it was o'so plain
that u hated me from the time I was born
I tried mum, I really tried.
Inside i'm torn, never having felt ur love
inside I'm dead, just waiting for the call from above
don't be mad, or upset
just try to forget
U always said I was daddys little girl
well mum now
Im just daddys little suicide girl