Morning Dread

[EllieMay]

I feel constant dread and sick with the ocd, frightening thoughts, anxiety and depression. The heatwave has added to this as I cannot breathe, sleep and constantly sweating and cannot face going outside. I am trying to focus on positive things but it has got so bad I dread waking up with all this and the crippling loneliness. I know so many on here will identify. I know there is no magic wand and trying to hold on. I really want to go but everytime I think of my wonderful son I know I can't. Trapped in an internal prison and very afraid. I am cleaning in order to cope it is my coping tool. Just need to reach out as cannot sleep and very afraid. Thank you for all the lovely messages and for knowing I am not alone..Ellie.

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

the worst of the heatwave is over now at least, but yes it made me feel worse too. I hope you got some sleep. x

 

[1964dodge]

i know depression and anxiety are very difficult to deal with and from what i know about ocd it can be hell to live with. there is help out there. it won't cure you but it may be able to help. please keep working with doctors to find anything that will help. and of course your son will always need you. please keep talking we are listening and we do care. if you ever want to talk my inbox is there for you...mike...

 

[EllieMay]

the worst of the heatwave is over now at least, but yes it made me feel worse too. I hope you got some sleep. x

I did thank you. I hope you are okay x

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

I did thank you. I hope you are okay x

That's good I'm not great, been crying and feel dizzy and worn out now but I'm relieved its cooler today x

 

[EllieMay]

That's good I'm not great, been crying and feel dizzy and worn out now but I'm relieved its cooler today x

I am so sorry, it's so tough. I send you a big hug 💗

 

[EllieMay]

I am so sorry, it's so tough. I send you a big hug 💗

 

[lost_in_a_fairytale]

I am so sorry, it's so tough. I send you a big hug 💗

Thanks, same to you ❤

 

[EllieMay]

That's good I'm not great, been crying and feel dizzy and worn out now but I'm relieved its cooler today x

If you ever

Thanks, same to you ❤

💓💗

 

[1964dodge]

That's good I'm not great, been crying and feel dizzy and worn out now but I'm relieved its cooler today x

 

[EllieMay]

i know depression and anxiety are very difficult to deal with and from what i know about ocd it can be hell to live with. there is help out there. it won't cure you but it may be able to help. please keep working with doctors to find anything that will help. and of course your son will always need you. please keep talking we are listening and we do care. if you ever want to talk my inbox is there for you...mike...

That means a lot Mike, doing everything to cope with the thoughts and fear, whatever helps to ease it. Holding on to love and good people. My mental mantra is "hold on" when the fear and suicidal thoughts overwhelm me

 

[1964dodge]

That means a lot Mike, doing everything to cope with the thoughts and fear, whatever helps to ease it. Holding on to love and good people. My mental mantra is "hold on" when the fear and suicidal thoughts overwhelm me

 

[Lara_C]

Hugs @EllieMay. Glad you found us and I hope you feel comforted and less afraid knowing you're not alone and will always have SF to turn to when fear and suicidal thoughts strike.

 

[EllieMay]

Hugs @EllieMay. Glad you found us and I hope you feel comforted and less afraid knowing you're not alone and will always have SF to turn to when fear and suicidal thoughts strike.

Thank you. I am trying to face my fears and have got out, but get a lot of frightening panic attacks and have to wait for the fear to pass xx