I feel constant dread and sick with the ocd, frightening thoughts, anxiety and depression. The heatwave has added to this as I cannot breathe, sleep and constantly sweating and cannot face going outside. I am trying to focus on positive things but it has got so bad I dread waking up with all this and the crippling loneliness. I know so many on here will identify. I know there is no magic wand and trying to hold on. I really want to go but everytime I think of my wonderful son I know I can't. Trapped in an internal prison and very afraid. I am cleaning in order to cope it is my coping tool. Just need to reach out as cannot sleep and very afraid. Thank you for all the lovely messages and for knowing I am not alone..Ellie.