Mum

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Deadly, Dec 2, 2014.

  1. Deadly

    Deadly Well-Known Member

    My world was shattered when I watched you die mum. I know you were surrounded by love. All your children and dad your husband of over 50 years. I thought I was ready. I thought I was prepared and the end would bring relief. I could not have been more wrong. It hits like a Tsunami and then suddenly there was so much I had to say so much I wanted to ask. I had you for over 45 years in my life and still it was not enough time. I wish you were here now. I wish I could go round to the house and see you sitting in your chair and speak like we used to. You never gave up on your children. You dedicated your life to us to the family. When the cancer took you it was quick. Undeserving and relentless with its brutality and speed.

    When your coffin came into the Church you were there but you were not there. We sat with you as people and priests prayed over your body. I am not a religious person but I know you would have liked that. If only you could have heard these prayers many of which were said In Latin I just know you would have loved it. Things are not good here now mum. I am glad you are not here to see this. I talk to you sometimes when I cant sleep but I cant hear you. Many times I want to join you. One day I will. Who ever said time heals were wrong.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you time does not heal the emptiness one feels but in time you will remember you mother with more joy in your heart and not so much pain as she would want you too
    do something to commemorate your mother ok keep her memory alive through you hun she would not want to see you suffering hugs
     
  3. Deadly

    Deadly Well-Known Member

    Hi I do have a photo of her but don't put it out. Was when she was young 17 she had just left the convent. She was supposed to be a Catholic Nun until she met me dad and that was that. There is a light that shines now by her resting place. It will be shining tonight above her space. She would have liked that. Thanks for your reply and your words. Deadly.
     
  4. siuling337

    siuling337 Member

    I am sorry to hearing this news....
     
  5. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi Deadly, I was crying as I wrote my own post and then again when I read yours. My Father left the priesthood and married my mother who died of that nasty cancer. I too am not religious but I do talk to her and I hope she hears. I agree that time does not heal well, but what it did for me was replace the horror of the cancer with the wonderful memories of our life and love. I hope in time this can happen for you.

    Take care and try not to focus on the riptide that tears at the family, it too may diminish.