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My anger is beginning to spiral out of control

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by JCC988, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. JCC988

    JCC988 Well-Known Member

    This morning I had a fight with my mother. She said I was being verbally and emotionally abusive which I agree I was. But what I didn't realize until she told me that it was outright sadistic what I was doing. She said I was enjoying it. In hindsight I think I very well was. It made me think back. Those violent thoughts I mentioned earlier? I've come to realize (or rather think) that there IS a part of me that is sadistic towards other human beings.

    It's not sitting well with me. The idea of me having sadistic thoughts and now actions towards other human beings. It scares me too. Not just because of how bad sadism is but it's a sign that my anger is escalating to somewhere dangerous. Sadism is bad. Very bad. I know this. I don't think I'm a bad person. So why am I drifting that way? I don't understand anymore.

    All I know is that if I'm having sadistic thoughts, it's going to progress into masochism which means I'll be even more at risk of self harm.
     
  2. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    Find out what triggers your anger (it seems like her to me). And see if you can find an outlet that doesn't hurt anyone, including you. Like boxing or something.
     
    JCC988 likes this.
  3. rachelangelo

    rachelangelo Member

    I think the fact that you're concerned at all should tell you that you have a good heart. You don't desire to hurt others. People with actual Sadism have no regard for others. Obviously, you do. However, you may have anger management issues. Have you considered seeing a counselor or joining a support group? This is a very manageable situation. Especially since you seem to want to get better. Keep hope!
     
    JCC988 likes this.
  4. littlelucy

    littlelucy Well-Known Member

    I think if you were truly "sadistic" you wouldn't care about possibly being sadistic. You know what I mean? You would just be going around care free hurting people and loving it.

    Maybe you are just very very angry and a part of you likes to be hurtful, but it's not all of you. If that makes sense...
     
    JCC988 and gypsylee like this.