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My escapism is stressing me out

#1
Hey all,
I've always been someone who enjoys reading and for the past few years it's been a fulfilling hobby that didn't stress me out or anything.
But that changed this year. I've always relied on tv shows for escapism and lifed through them, pretty much formed parasocial relationships w/ my favorite characters. I need to know there's a show I can watch to take my mind of things and it has to be a show I actually enjoy/ am invested in. It can't be just anything. As a teenager I had to spend some time in hospitals/in a cast and since then I'm pretty much terrified of boredom so that's for background.
Yeah ok so in March COVID happened and productions for tv shows shut down and I spent two months at home since the place I work at had to shut down also. Since I didn't know when the shows I'm watching would air/start production again I tried to focus on reading.

To put it into perspective: Last year I read 53 books. This year I read 69 so far. And it's stressing me out because I mostly read english books and for some reason it's taking weeks for them to be shipped to Germany, I have this thing that I only read paperbacks and long story short: I feel like I'm running out of reading material and trying to "organize it" and making sure I don't run out has been stressful.
I don't have any friends that rely on escapism even nearly as heavy as I do and I guess I just wanted to share and...maybe someone can relate... Since I also have CP I'm pretty often fatigued and can't just replace reading/watching with something like going on a run or something...

I'm literally avoiding watching Netflix right now because the only show I still have "queued up" is AWAY and then...nothing. There might be a good one starting fridday next week but that's ages. And honestly I just want my fave shows to continue.

Would be nice if someone with similiar experiences could share. Or like, maybe there's even a solution?
Thanks in advance
Sam
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#3
I have always read a lot of books here. I use online libraries which can be quite good like Internet Archive and ZLibrary. With Internet Archive you have to have Adobe Digital Editions to checkout, download and read and with ZLibrary you can download in a variety of formats from PDF, EPUB, etc.
 
#4
Sorry that you're going through this.

I wonder if you could try something like meditating.
Meditating already helps me when I'm having panic attacks, maybe I should try it out on a more regular basis. Thank you!!

I have always read a lot of books here. I use online libraries which can be quite good like Internet Archive and ZLibrary. With Internet Archive you have to have Adobe Digital Editions to checkout, download and read and with ZLibrary you can download in a variety of formats from PDF, EPUB, etc.
Never heard of those, gonna check them out. Thank you!!
 

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