I and my friend are 60 years old. I am bipolar 2 but mostly depressed. On the whole lately I have been doing okay with the grandson and having a support network of friends. I have a good job, money to live by and a little more. I have an advanced degree and work hard to work and to enjoy life.
My friend is high school graduate, works retail for the past 30 years, has little money and no self confidence. He has two or three friends, of which I am one. He lives with his sister who doesn't charge him rent and is barely making it. She is about to leave the area soon which means he would have to find a place to live. He just accepted a job to be a busboy and dishwasher. He works part time in a pharmacy as a tech. Although he has an junior college degree his skills are outdated and he refuses to go back to school. I even offered to pay.
So he is depressed because he sees how the college educated folk live and he wants a piece of it. He has nothing to live for and knows it. He has no confidence. Everytime I talk to him it's the same sad story; "my car is on it's last legs" " I wish I could get away from scraping by" "I wish I could take a trip" " Companies have no respect for employees" "I have no friends" "I don't know what to do with my life" The last especially is a downer - he doesn't vote, go to church, file taxes, he just exists and envies the world I live in not realizing the stress I live. I suggested at one point he saw a therapist because I couldn't handle the sadness and envy of his. of course, it was rejected. I almost don't want to talk to him he is so depressing and envious it is overwhelming and sometimes I can't handle it. I feel real bad because he will never get out of being poor and envious. He will always be buying junk and not feeling good. If I reject him by not talking with him or spending any time with him then I would feel more guilty and depressed but really he's a downer. At 60 very little will change except he will be working until 70. And it will get worse as we professional types retire and travel.
So I don't know what I am asking but I need advice how to separate myself from his agony and feelings. I can't handle it. But he needs a friend. But I'm afraid that it isn't me and I don't know after almost 10 years to tell him we can't be friends. I have to meet him for pizza next week and I don't want to go. I don't know how to separate his feeling without making them mine.
My friend is high school graduate, works retail for the past 30 years, has little money and no self confidence. He has two or three friends, of which I am one. He lives with his sister who doesn't charge him rent and is barely making it. She is about to leave the area soon which means he would have to find a place to live. He just accepted a job to be a busboy and dishwasher. He works part time in a pharmacy as a tech. Although he has an junior college degree his skills are outdated and he refuses to go back to school. I even offered to pay.
So he is depressed because he sees how the college educated folk live and he wants a piece of it. He has nothing to live for and knows it. He has no confidence. Everytime I talk to him it's the same sad story; "my car is on it's last legs" " I wish I could get away from scraping by" "I wish I could take a trip" " Companies have no respect for employees" "I have no friends" "I don't know what to do with my life" The last especially is a downer - he doesn't vote, go to church, file taxes, he just exists and envies the world I live in not realizing the stress I live. I suggested at one point he saw a therapist because I couldn't handle the sadness and envy of his. of course, it was rejected. I almost don't want to talk to him he is so depressing and envious it is overwhelming and sometimes I can't handle it. I feel real bad because he will never get out of being poor and envious. He will always be buying junk and not feeling good. If I reject him by not talking with him or spending any time with him then I would feel more guilty and depressed but really he's a downer. At 60 very little will change except he will be working until 70. And it will get worse as we professional types retire and travel.
So I don't know what I am asking but I need advice how to separate myself from his agony and feelings. I can't handle it. But he needs a friend. But I'm afraid that it isn't me and I don't know after almost 10 years to tell him we can't be friends. I have to meet him for pizza next week and I don't want to go. I don't know how to separate his feeling without making them mine.
