My Life Story: It could be worst?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Eliezer, Mar 8, 2008.

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  1. Eliezer

    Eliezer Member

    (Please, sorry me if I do some mistakes. I'm still not good at all with english)

    Hi, I'll tell in a few words why I think my life is a "blackhole in space".

    I'm a 19 years old boy, but I've had never been like I'm right now. I remember when I was a kid, I was an EXTREMELY sociable boy, I had a lot of friends everywhere, and I was really happy because I lived on my way all the time long. I studied in a school when I was the most popular guy :laugh: but... Nothing is forever.

    When I begun high school, I moved to a new school, when I didn't knew nobody (and I wasn't interested to), that was a long chain of 4 LONG years suffering bully by my classmates, who were a compact group, and never let me to get in. I tried to make friends, and being a happy person again, but I never could.

    I always have been rejected by a lot of people for being different. I'm not gay/bi (And I don't have nothing against them) or an special boy, but... I see the world in a different way, I consider myself as a well-cultured person, I'm always reading and learning something new about... A lot of things!: Art, music, history... But, that's not exactly what "I need" to be on focus, to get the attention of any person. That's ironic, because, I know a lot of things, but I don't have anything to give to anyone.

    In the last year of high school, I had a friend, my best friend, he was like my brother, but I have a lot of time without seeing him, in fact I lost the contact with him, but I know he has actually a fiancee, and he's going to get married with her sometime this year.

    I don't have friends, I don't have a "cool" personality, I mean, I don't have nothing to offer, nothing to give. And I'm feeling so lonely each day I live. The most ironical thing is that I live in front of a small mall where are some discos, and I always see from the window all the people in the entrance, enjoyning and living their lifes. I feel alone all the time long, and I'm tired of being a prisoner in my house, because... Why to hang out if I don't have friends to? I can't have friends, because I'm nobody who deserves having friends.

    Everybody outside is living their lifes, but me.

    I don't know what to do. Some people says me "Well, go to a gym, an art/music class and you'll meet people", but that's not quite easy. I become a little shy person, and a so isolated person. In fact, I go sooometimes to a gym, but I hate to see everywhere I go all the people talking to friends, talking about "what we'll gonna do this weekend?" or "hey dude, thanks to... that thing", and I cry on my own, is a strange feeling of anger mixed with sadness. Sometimes I just wanna run away to another country, another place, when I can be where I wanna be: A young man who have friends, enjoy his life, and... Is happy. :smile:

    I hate to see people doing the things I wanna do (Like, f.e.: Playing tennis, my FAVE sport in the whole world!), or enjoyning with friends in the malls or something like that. When I see them I automatically say on my mind "stupids". I know it's a bad thing, but I don't know how to change myself, how to change that so bad and sad way of seeing my own life. :sad:

    But that's not the solution, I wish being like I was when I was a kid. I don't know how I can do it. I wanna live!. I just don't know how to live... I don't know, how to get friends.

    Thanks a lot for reading, and please, sorry me again if I did mistakes, I'm still not good at all with english.

    Take care!;

    Eliezer.//
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2008
  2. ColdSummer

    ColdSummer Well-Known Member

    we are very similar this "I always have been rejected by a lot of people for being different. I'm not gay/bi (And I don't have nothing against them) or an special boy, but... I see the world in a different way, I consider myself as a well-cultured person, I'm always reading and learning something new about... A lot of things!: Art, music, history... But, that's not exactly what "I need" to be on focus, to get the attention of any person. That's ironic, because, I know a lot of things, but I don't have anything to give to anyone. " is me too. and I used to be sociable and now im not! lol.
    and who says you cant be a happy guy who loves life with friends? of course you can be him. Once you get rid of your shyness you can do anything you want. I can talk with you if you like :hug:
     
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