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My mind and will is weak

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by justMe7, May 26, 2013.

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  1. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    This isn't a bitch thread, it's a thread that perhaps I should have made years ago. Though I believe years ago I had a much stronger hope at "reaffirming" my positions, but I always doubted myself. Doubt in a realistic fashion of my naive perceptions and conclusions. I didn't have enough so I never sat comfortable with the vast majority of my thoughts, I simply allowed them to float unchained around me. But never pulling them inside of me so I Could voice them as if they are the truth. I have a big problem with that, because truth is relative, and it takes an ability of self control to assert the right perceptions and stances into a situation.

    Now many years later all the things I could withstand, all the immature things I could neutralize are running rampant at times. I'm struggeling to keep one position of how I feel and think Here. I feel... like this. I'l think the skies blue. The knowing it is a bit difficult because of everything that comes into play for me to connect to it.(constitution of the sky, relative perceptions and positions in existence.. whatever goes into it).. but someone might say the skies green. And I feel lured. Like a weakness.

    Ok it's not this bad. But ok... No. I see a situation.. and I believe this is this primary focus points of this situation, then someone else comes into that situation and describes primaries and my attention inside shifts to theirs. My focus, my pillars everything that constructs the forumluation of what I'm seeing and aiming for, I lose my strength of focus, of determination, of commmitment.

    I feel really weak. And it's taking me for rides. Things become "Justified". I do not want to live in a world like this because I know I can live a true nightmare. And I believe I can live or atleast start living in a better world if I can simply.. commit. But I worry, because I see so many people and things committed to things that when threatened they respond violently. I have no problem with defending yourself, but I will not allow my aggressive abilities to manifest in a justified manner when I feel threatened like that. I feel like every part of me is as equal as the next, which is lovely.. but this bastard world doesn't move like that. So I need to strengthen certain things.

    Maybe a better example is if you can imagine you are in a certain mood. Then all of a sudden a car crash happens, or someone comes up and gives you a hug... you shift focus entirely. My internal strength of focus is mucky. .. I'm not too sure what to do. Maybe I just need to be aware of it a bit more and learn to connect with multipul things, without letting them bleed into eachother.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Another perspective, if I can humbly suggest, is that you no longer are sure you have all the answers which makes one feel much weaker, but is truly a more powerful position...I have observed that in your responses lately...there is a humility and grace which I did not see before...just my 2 sense which in US dollars is little, I know...with caring
  3. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure what you mean exactly, but before I had plans, and things inplace to grow from. But because I didn't utlize my time properly those things are becoming distant echoes, and it's made me structurally very weak. To add I wouldn't ever claim to know "everything" but enough to concretely know enough about myself and my nature to a limit. Now things are very, weak. I feel I get bursts of energy but they fizzle very fast and nothings growing so each moment is a waste because it becomes lost in the transitions.

    If i said remember apples, I'd forget in about 30 minutes. Couple that with my character traits, things are a bit amiss when it comes to re-affirming things.
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    ok so this threads gone silent fast . Let's try this again. Does anyone have any experience with disassociation or a lack of commitment/memory problems? I'm finding it very difficult to retain one point of view. Any tips or strategies to re-affirming ones commitment to something? Sometimes I know i have to do something but I really just don't care or feel myself energised.

    The more I write this the more it sounds like a typic mundane problem of self motivation and remember discriptive ideas associated to how I want to do it.

    ... Hmm... maybe i should write a plan of a day in hours and stick to it. A little discomfort might go along way.

    Anyhow, my main problem is I believe in something, and how to do it and it's benifits.
    Then I forget, or lose that connection, I fail to feel that beliefe and feel the associated hopelessness because it is hopeless because I can see the end, but not the route anymore. So it's stupid to consider. It's like I shift from perceiving all the steps to do, into some slump and only remembering the end in a fashion.

    makes me kinda sit in a waste of time bubble chasing my own thoughts. Sorta like now.. yeah I've got better things to do atm.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2013
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    PM me please so we can talk about this...I do care
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