It will be a year on friday (10th) that my beloved mum lost her fight with cancer and left me. I am not coping, coping worse now than after her death and the following months, just dont know what to do, got so much guilt and hatred towards myself and cant believe I shall never see her again (in this life). I just want to talk with her, she was the only person who ever truly understood me, hold her, be with her, laugh and smile, share with her. I am so alone. I dont know what to do, have 2 friends who support me, but fear they are tiring of me and have run out of suggestions how to help me. I cant forgive myself or accept she has gone. I still expect to see her tomorrow or the day after.............but that day never comes. I'm lost.