Hello, I am 39 years old. I am not a native English speaker, some mistakes would be found here. My only brother unfortunately opted for his death, 25 days ago. He was 37 years old. Part of me also had died with his death. My only brother, we were together since being small kids, could talk a language only we could understand, now is gone forever, virtually killing parts of me and of our poor parents as well. Now, I feel totally partial and incomplete. I looking for this other part of me but it is unrecoverable. I looking for the place there people share the ways and real practices how they cope with this. How to effectively cope with the loss which feels like losing part of yourself? I could not make even several hours of work. Nobody expected his death, it was a total and unacceptable shock. We had no real clues it could be coming. The younger of the family, he had his reasons which we still do not fully understand, to chose to die the first one. I know that miracles do not exist, and nothing will make me the same person i was. I only want to get, somehow, to work. To be able to function, somehow. To find some ways and methods to make my mother cry less and my father drink less. Any practices, especially from those who did through it once. This would help me, not out, but not way more down for at least.