my schizoid is rooted in my brain.

[lachrymose]

this past week, spring break, been feeling so disconnected. this schizoid is holding me back (along with fear/anxiety) of finding work. all i do is mope around endlessly with nothing to do (just wasting time on an nintendo ds). i've suddenly lost interest in my studies and am thinking of switching again (would be the 5th time). yes i see a counselor, although i am not sure i can be fixed. my meds help kill the sad feelings, but i feel really empty now and although i am not sad, i've been thinking about suicide. i had a little hope a week or two before, but i've seem to have lost it. i will try to fix myself as i really want to make something useful out of my life but it is hard to do so with my disorders. i dont know if i can be fixed and i am scared (not really) that it may drive me to suicide.

 

[kpmth3]

it must be really hard. but you have gone this far! you are capable of something, but you just have to find what. it may not be president (hey, who knows, you could be) but find something you could wake up each morning and know that you are doing something useful. chin up! ^^