My soulmate my husband died unexpectedly on August 8th. It is surreal as I keep expecting to hear his voice, to feel his hand holding mine, to select/prepare/eat together dinner while watching news and then movie, to reach out to give him a backrub to help him fall asleep...all those moments of our lives together. All this below the surface as I am navigating notifications, the bills/finances, ...so much easier to do the 2nd and push the 1st onto the back burner.
My soulmate
- Thread starter Kiwi2016
- Start date
I'm so sorry @Kiwi2016 - losing your life's love, especially so unexpectedly adds disorientation to the pain of grief. I know it did for me, although I knew my partner had cancer. He was supposed to make it longer than he did, though. but when you have built your lives together, around each other, now that leaves a logistical hole to be filled as well as healing from the loss of the person you love.
Thank you all It has now been a month.
The photo collage and verbiage are going up in the lobby somtime soon. I am planning to go there alone perhaps in evening when no one around to simply sit there and read it. This is probably odd but for me this might bring closure of sorts. There will be no other "event thing" as friend who thought might help do something just with few close friends is distancing so now not sure about asking as i dont want to push it as feel like I am begging for something. Also one of those friends is now having pre chemo party on 19th so feel like interfering with that. Does it hurt? Yes, but life moves on. And think too my husband's sudden death hits too close to home as they say.
The photo collage and verbiage are going up in the lobby somtime soon. I am planning to go there alone perhaps in evening when no one around to simply sit there and read it. This is probably odd but for me this might bring closure of sorts. There will be no other "event thing" as friend who thought might help do something just with few close friends is distancing so now not sure about asking as i dont want to push it as feel like I am begging for something. Also one of those friends is now having pre chemo party on 19th so feel like interfering with that. Does it hurt? Yes, but life moves on. And think too my husband's sudden death hits too close to home as they say.
So up tonight..tears flowed in front of strangers...the only tribute to him as he didnt want anything... so alone.
Friend may host somethong in his honor in latter part of October...wondering what is the point but at same time feel need for closure of sorts... in the end I am a mess but pretending not.
Friend may host somethong in his honor in latter part of October...wondering what is the point but at same time feel need for closure of sorts... in the end I am a mess but pretending not.
You are stuck there, yes, but not as in stuck in concrete.
Is it okay to comment? I feel as though I understand due to my experience with losing my partner. If this is poorly written or comes across as harsh or pedantic just ignore.
On my run this evening, some fluffy plant bits were floating along close to the ground as I ran along. It looked, just for a few moments, as though the ground was gently breaking apart and floating away tiny bit by tiny bit. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation but was a little spooky.
Eventually the place you are stuck at will start to budge along, naturally. It will probably hurt in a new way.
While there, I'm gald you're here. I hope you are able to be open to our care and support.
(h)
Is it okay to comment? I feel as though I understand due to my experience with losing my partner. If this is poorly written or comes across as harsh or pedantic just ignore.
On my run this evening, some fluffy plant bits were floating along close to the ground as I ran along. It looked, just for a few moments, as though the ground was gently breaking apart and floating away tiny bit by tiny bit. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation but was a little spooky.
Eventually the place you are stuck at will start to budge along, naturally. It will probably hurt in a new way.
While there, I'm gald you're here. I hope you are able to be open to our care and support.
(h)
People do move on, but they are more willing (at least that was my experience, I hope you’re not surrounded by dicks) to revisit and remember the past with you than you night expect.
What I mean is, don’t feel pressure to get past things at other people’s pace and, instead of trying to fit into their worlds, invite them into yours. Keep bringing up and asking for the things that will help you.
Does that make sense? I’m afraid it doesn’t.
What I mean is, don’t feel pressure to get past things at other people’s pace and, instead of trying to fit into their worlds, invite them into yours. Keep bringing up and asking for the things that will help you.
Does that make sense? I’m afraid it doesn’t.
Thank you both.
The plant fuzz imagery helped as can see how my perspective of where i am can and will slowly shift. And will hurt as occurs and will be not a linear change but a subtle back and forth...
And inviting people to fit where I am, bringing up memories, and asking for help...also good advice. As some seem to think should jump back in to doing exercise classes just not there yet and brain also not there as intended to go to library committee meeting but had on wrong day. And oh the memories are so many. And yes asking for help...doing that today with computer and also with puppy Brinny. As couple offered to take her for few hours couple times per week...which would be good for her and me...
So thank you.
The plant fuzz imagery helped as can see how my perspective of where i am can and will slowly shift. And will hurt as occurs and will be not a linear change but a subtle back and forth...
And inviting people to fit where I am, bringing up memories, and asking for help...also good advice. As some seem to think should jump back in to doing exercise classes just not there yet and brain also not there as intended to go to library committee meeting but had on wrong day. And oh the memories are so many. And yes asking for help...doing that today with computer and also with puppy Brinny. As couple offered to take her for few hours couple times per week...which would be good for her and me...
So thank you.