here is some background information about my family my mom and dad were married and my dad used to be really nice towards mom&me and often spoiled us and made us very happy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- now heres where things start to turn terrible my dad usually gets home around 6:30 pm(est) and for a few weeks he was coming in very late usually around 1 am(7 hours late!) and i think my mom knew what was going on and me being 15 at the time,i definitely knew what was going on but both of us never said anything to him. after a few months of his late night "adventures" my mom got sick of it and confronted him about it and he simply replied "its simply busy at the office" 7 hours!!? for months at a time,i also confronted my dad on it and he admitted that he was seeing a 43 year old lady is millville nj,that explains the late night hours because millville is a hour or so apart from deptford..... my heart was broken that daddy would hurt mommy like this....so when he left for "work" i told mom what he told me and my mom fell apart and i tried to help her but she pushed me away.... that same night daddy came home drunk and when he drinks he gets really mean so what comes next dont help any...... my mom started yelling at him and told him what i told her earlier and i was in the living room listening to my mp3 player,he into the living room and yanked the earbuds out of my ear and threw me on the floor and started to punch me all over and i was crying and mommy got a broom and started hitting him with it and he got off me and he attacked my mommy and it was worser than what he was doing to me,i phoned the police and 3 cars came and arrested my daddy for 2 cases of aggravated assault,and disorderly conduct,i slept in mommys bed that night and everything was okay....on my 16th birthday my dad was released from jail and he came over to see me......so he brought me some gifts and ate some cake with me....i knew i wasnt alright but i tried to be happy....well he went to get something from the porch and he brought in a 6 pack of heineken(beer) i was furious that he brought beer to my party especially after what he did to mom&me........i told him to get out and not to come back and he got real angry and threw a bottle at the wall and it shattered and beer went everywhere,im just a cry baby i started crying and sat down on the floor and couldnt control myself and my mom started getting very mad and took the broom to him and beat him pretty bad at it.....what a nice party right? well it gets better.......my mom took the case of beer and threw it out the door and got her handgun(legally licensed and permitted) and she threatened to shoot him if he didnt get out...,so he left and i didnt see him or hear from him for a long time....one day i was at the mall with mommy and i went into the gap to get some clothes....and my dad was working there!! i was shocked and it made me feel sick! needless to say he confronted me with a hug(which i hated) i could feel the fakeness of the hug he gave me....he dont love me or my mommy....i slapped him in the face for touching me and i left.....and didnt see him until last new years..... he came to our house drunk(as usual) and had a gun with him....i was in my room talking on the phone and i hear a gunshot and my mom scream so i ran out to the living room and he had shot her in her arm and she was bleeding very badly and he spoke to me "paybacks are a real ***** arent they rue" then he shot me in the belly and i dont remember what happened but i awoke in the hospital with a bad belly ache and my mommy was in the same room with me.....my mom is a hemophiliac and she died in front of me a few hours later,so i moved in with my grandfather when i was released from the hospital...i started self injuring with razor blades and cutting my belly and arms then my legs....i dont have many friends and im just a depressed soul.