My sweet husband's suicide

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by loracost, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. loracost

    loracost New Member

    Jan. 8 th was the 2 year anniversary of the day my world forever changed. My husband of 12+ years had began smoking a year prior.... He promised our 4 year old his New Years resolution would be to stop. He began a medication to help cease the smoking. We just had a weekly family cookout, I was getting out clothes to wear to church the next morning.... then the man I love and had loved for 14 years snapped. Idk why or how but he did. My sweet Mother had passed suddenly 5 months prior after a 4 week bout with lung cancer.... so I was still so very sad I didn't notice the medicine was effecting him. He lost it cursed screamed acted like a mad man and he had NEVER did such. Our babies were afraid it was all so fast. He went outside to sleep in his truck but it was cold. I calmed the lil ones and went out to have him come in. I was so confused and it was going so slow yet fast at the same time. As I walked up to his truck he sat in the driver seat. I held his hand and said please sleep on the couch we will talk tomorrow I was confused. He had crashed he wasn't mad he was so remorseful for what he had said and did. I was explaining it wld be ok. I didn't know he had <mod edit- methods>. How could he leave me? I had just lost my Mother.... He was my heart. How other than for my children can I go on? I am a shell of who I was. I wish this pain on no one. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2014
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    how horrible for you.

    i'm sorry

    very difficult to go through especially with the children being so young.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    loracost, I'm so sorry for your losses. :hug: I know there are others here who have lost loved ones to suicide...perhaps their experiences could help. I'm glad you found this site and I hope you find lots of support and caring here. I'm thinking of you and your little ones.
  4. pat1

    pat1 Active Member

    my wife died on January 7th this year.i miss her dreadfully.i feel for you.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so difficult. I would suggest you get grievance counselling. :hug: