Last year I had a meltdown following increasing stress and anxiety levels due to a high pressure work environment. Ironically I am no longer working at that company since they made my job redundant this summer. However they certainly were a major cause of my stress, anxiety and depression. Now I am depress because I cannot land a job offer after months of several job interviews and countless, LOADS of job applications. Anyway, when I had this meltdown which was trigged by the last straw of I could possibly tolerate within that company I was working for (being blamed as an easy escape goat for a mistake on an extremely urgent project my line manager had made), I was signed off due to stress, anxiety by my doctor. Without pushing me he advised me on thinking about taking an antidepressant. He mentioned Fluoxetine, otherwise known as Prozac. I have always been very reluctant on any drug use, particularly those drugs that are supposed to be working on your psyche. I have searched info about the side effects before deciding to commit on taking this famous pill, but perhaps not as thoroughly as I should have. More on this in a moment. At the time I was suffering from insomnia already and had anxiety, panic attacks whenever I would get a text message from a colleague to check how I was doing. The mental association of colleagues = work = hell was undeniable to me, hence uber anxiety levels. So, despite being reluctant I decided to take this damn Fluoxetine. I lasted 3 days on it. Yes, 3 days. Not one day more, not one day less. My doctor did not mention that this drug is supposed to be taken in the morning, although on the info paper did not specifically say to not taking it at evening times either. Based on the drowsiness side effect and since I was suffering from insomnia I decided to take it in the evening and at the exact same time every evening for the duration of my short lived experience with that hell of a drug. The first night was kind of okay, it allowed me to fall asleep by 10pm which was great I thought. But... I did wake up after barely 2 hours unable to fall asleep again until the early hours in the morning. Then throughout the day on my first day on Prozac I felt calm but lifeless. I had no energy, I had no desire to do anything, I had absolutely no appetite, no creative stimulation (very important to me). Following this sombre zombie-like state, anxiety attacks would sink in, very violently. I could not sit still, I had to walk so I would walk in my house like a mouse trying to calm myself down. Then the zombie-like state would take over again. The second day/night was worse. Horrible vivid dreams, actually nightmares. Anxiety higher with my heart feeling like it was about to explode. All this alternated by lifeless states like a zombie, totally careless with no emotions. However anything would trig stress, either energy music (which I love - dance, disco, proper rock music to mention a few) or films with even a slightly sad moment. Then anxiety attacks would kick in again. This is someone who loves bed time, I actually dreaded going to bed while I was on this shit called Prozac. More vivid nightmares, stronger palpitations. The third and final day I felt feverish. This was the absolute worse of my 3 days stint on that hell of a drug. Woke up in the morning on a panic attack. Very strong palpitations. Felt restless most of the day, walking up and down like an idiot. Then fake calm breeze, zombie state briefly settling in, no desire to do anything at all. No appetite whatsoever, in fact I lost a lot of weight during and after. Yes because I had side effects afterwards as well.... I started on a Tues evening taking this shitty pill and took my last ever dose (200mg) on Thurs eve. The night between Thurs and Friday was like hell. It was physically and mentally unbearable. Pain in my bones, cold sweat, feeling feverish, going to bed trying to sleep only to fall into a nightmare and waking up to another nightmare. Armed with an inquisitive mind to find out what the fuck was I experiencing and if it was "normal", I did a thorough research on this drug online. What I did find out that night, well actually early morning around 4am was shocking. The wake up call I needed. I read countless stories of people who committed suicide while on Fluoxetine/Prozac, having had the same painful effects I had. I read countless stories of people who gradually withdrew, went back on it months or even a couple of years later and not only they developed suicide thoughts but murderous ones. Shocking stories of people who brutally murdered members of their family then committed suicide while relapsing on this shitty drug. That did it. Called the emergency national medical line which was absolutely useless, I told them I just wanted to stop taking this shit because of the side effects I was experiencing. They suggested another mild anti-depressant. I remember I almost told them to go and fuck themselves with their ill-advised suggestions. Then called my doctor and told him everything I was experiencing. He agreed I should definitely quit. However I did ask him what would the side effects be. He minimised the whole thing by saying that I MAY experience dizziness, sickness and fever, but it's rare. On the back of my doctor somehow supporting my plea to quit given what I was going through, I started to feel slightly better. Anxiety attacks would kick in every now and then on Sat, the first day of abrupt withdrawal. But that night strangely I slept really well, no nightmares, just weird, very weird vivid dreams with celebrities in it. The following day I did not feel that well. Still no much appetite and at night I felt sick. I was eating very little at the time, predominantly drinking more than 1.5 lit of still water, eating some fruit and veg, but I had no appetite at all. When I felt sick I was horrified about what I saw. Basically I puked these tiny black grains, sort of like ground coffee. Did not recall having anything mildly resembling that for dinner so once again I did my thorough research online. Apparently on the withdrawal side effect from Prozac, what I had just puked was part of the whole process. My body basically starting to reject the shit that was in my system. A week later I started to feel much better, appetite back, less stressed although I had to go back to my job and I certainly did have an anxiety attack on my return. Moral of the story: everyone is different, my body certainly does not tolerate drugs. Never have never will. Before embarking on a commitment such as taking antidepressant, do your thorough research online. These drugs are extremely dangerous and addictive. Things is, depending on how long you have taken them, the withdrawal has to be balanced out with the amount you have taken and the length of it. In my case, quitting altogether without gradually reducing the dose then stop, was okay, regardless of the side effects I had afterwards. Reading about all those suicides and murder cases frankly scared the shit out of me, enough to say not again till I live and breathe. Last but not least, a proper good doctor should NOT, I repeat SHOULD NOT advise his of her patients to take those fucking dangerous pills. I believe it is a conniving convenience between pharmaceutical industry and medical practice to prescribe these horrible drugs as if they were candies. We are their guines-pigs. Now I am depressed because I lost my job due to redundancy, yet I would not go back to that hell of Prozac nor I would want to try a different "mild" one. The hell with those things.