Need suggestions from a parent

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Sarah, Nov 9, 2007.

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  1. Sarah

    Sarah SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    I have a friend who nows a young teenager who may be pregnant. She is only 14 years old. Her parents dont know anything yet. my friend is in a bind because she is worried that if she tells the mother her friend will feel like she doesnt have anyone to go to that she can trust. she wants to remain the girls confidant so that she has a reliable and moral role model to talk to whenever she needs it. she if something worse happens the girl will feel that she has nowhere to go. the girls mom is also a close friend and will probably be very upset if she doesnt tell her. the girls mom has also been known to have a bad temper and she is also afraid of telling her because of this. my friend is also afraid of the girl getting an std and she just doesnt know how t go about helping her.she is between a rock and a hard place with this. any suggestions on how to tell a mother about this without having it backfire.apparantly the mother is the type of person who can completely "blow up" at someone for just making a small mistake. how can we help this girl stop ruining her life and help her and her mother get through this together.
  2. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    Why tell the mother before even knowing if the young woman is indeed pregnant? I would lead the young person to a doctor (privacy prevents from telling anyone even parents well depends where you are .... or get a kit at th chemist and see if it is the case to worry over it all. Once that is clear, the situation can then be faced....
    but first thing first is how i see it.
  3. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    In a second time she can (if pregnant) have her seen a social worker or the like that will help her with the situation and the family.

    If she is indeed pregnant, always in a second time, I would let some hints about isn't she a bit pale? Just to bring the attention of the mother over the child. It is not your friend's responsability to reveal secrets unless life treatning and again depends on the circumstances.

    Should she NOT be pregnant, you can direct her to youth center where they can 'teach' her few things about her body etc.... and protection etc.. all issues women must be aware of.

    True, once trust has been damaged it is hard to recover.... specially with who broke the silence rule in trust...... but not impossible..... but from a teenager hardly possible secondo me.

    Hope things will work out for the better for both the child and your friend.

    Be well and safe
  4. Lady E

    Lady E Well-Known Member

    First off your friend's friend does need to take a test whether it is at the doctor's or a home pregnancy test. The earlier on which she finds out if she is pregnant the more options are open to her.
    If the girl does end up being pregnant she will have to tell her mother eventually. It's not your friend's responsibility to tell the girl's mother she is pregnant. She should urge the girl to talk to her mother, and even offer to go with her when she tells her to be sort of a buffer (to remind the mother that blowing up won't help the situation any) but it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest if she just blurted out "So and So is pregnant"
    As for the girl's sexual activity and sexual health getting tested for std's is something that she definitely needs to do escpecially if she thinks she is pregnant and get her educated on safe sex practices. Possibly even some counseling 14 years old is REALLY young to be having any sort of sex and maybe it's a symptom of something deeper going on.
    Also maybe finding a local "baby think it over" program that hands out those dolls that simulate what having a real baby is like to give her a dose of reality.
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