Needing a Change with No Direction to Go

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Boo Boo, Jul 24, 2013.

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  1. Boo Boo

    Boo Boo Member

    I wrecked my car recently, I now have to walk to work ('bout 4 miles, not a bad walk). Lately, going to work causes me to get angry because all I do is sit in a damn car (Auto Auction, pick up and deliver cars all day), but I need this job because it's so close to me and I have no transportation.

    For the past two weeks, I've been going to work on and off. On the days I don't go in, it's usually because I sleep through my alarm. Other days, it's because I'm feeling lackadaisical and have no energy what so ever. I've also been trying to sell stuff I don't need or want (games, systems, electronics, anything of value I don't have use for anymore). I know I should go to work because I need to get a new car, but it seems like it only makes things worse for myself... getting angrier and angrier as time moves forward.

    I have went to the GP, even called in the Suicide Watch at one point because I saw the signs coming on. They gave me medication and it just makes me numb, zombie-like even. I would rather feel PAIN than NOTHING at all!!

    Teary eyed, but not crying, I push myself out of bed. Everyday, I wonder if there is something more... Everyday, I ask myself what the problem is... EVERYDAY I ask why I can't do the things that I want to do. My interests seem to fall under the category of "You need money". To learn something new, you need money. Money Money Money. BUT I know money won't make me happy...

    I'm at a lose for words. My head is pounding and my body is numb. :rain:
     
  2. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Boo Boo,
    If you are not happy in your job, then 2 options look for another job or see if you can do more in your current job.
    Can you use public transport to work further away? Do you wish to move so you have more employment options?
    Try talking about how you are feeling, sorry about your car. Can you hire a car for jobs further away?
    I am sure your situation will improve, hurting yourself really won't help you.
    Lack of energy is because you are feeling low, do things you enjoy in your spare time.
    Talk to others to stop the isolation, can your family help you right now?
    Take care
    Kate
     
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    keep us updated with how you are doing..

    i hope things improve for you
     
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