Needing to Recalibrate

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Hey, Jan 12, 2015.

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  1. Hey

    Hey Active Member

    Wow, I started 2015 with a concussive bang. I wanted to start this topic, as I have not posted in years. I sincerely miss this support group. This collection of anonymous human beings all here for different reasons. I have met people I have admired, others I have not. Ultimately, we're all subjectively viewed, carbon-based lifeforms divorced from our animal kingdom, and left in this bizarre, biological purgatory wherein we espouse the phenomena of consciousness.

    I have come to find I am no longer suicidal, but just a hardened, emotionally disingenuous shell of my former self. Suicide is not even an option on the table. And I'm starting to see if I continue down this emotional, cobblestone street -- I'll wind up like men in their forties who can cry on cue. I want to embrace parts of my old, perceived identity. Compassionate, loving, sincere. Three tenets I have come to realise, require a greater deal of fearlessness than anything else.

    Plainly, I need to fix myself. Both in conviction emotionally and intellectually. I need to start my business, and get the ball rolling. As opposed to complaining, or letting a beer do my thinking. Speaking as a late-twenties male, I want a family, and I cannot merely happen a legacy, and children with my current mental framework. I need to remedy those problems. At this point, I'd like to conclude there is something to be said for expressing one's emotions in a text-based, articulate context. There is something crystallising, fortifying, empowering...

    Thank-you for listening, clicking, even thinking that somebody out there, a complete stranger is viewing my words, and mentally processing them...it makes me happy. And I'm not being based on my looks, charisma, or other superfluous trickery. But by...my brain. Wow, I miss this.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HI to you have you taken steps to help you get back to that old self you once were. Talking to a therapist can help as well I like reading your words as they are so interesting your thoughts are so well articulated. I am glad that writing here helps you I find that sometimes writing down my thoughts give them some kind of order as well.
     
  3. Hey

    Hey Active Member

    I no longer qualify myself as "depressed" after writing last night. And I thank-you both for the feedback, and the RWE quote in your signature. He is a brilliant writer.
     
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