new here. :)

[fangface]

i made this account a while ago & have mostly been lurking since but i figured i should make an intro post eventually. a little anxious about posting here as it's difficult for me to open up or reach out when i need it, but i hope this helps nonetheless. so to start off, hello, i'm ash! (not my real name because i'm slightly paranoid of someone recognising me but oh well). i'm 18, i use he/him pronouns, and i'm queer. i'm not comfortable sharing too much about myself just yet but i'm autistic, and i have bpd, adhd, and mdd among other things. i live with what my therapist calls "chronic suicidal ideation" which basically means that i think about offing myself even on my good days, and there's not really a way for me to turn those thoughts off in my brain. i've been through some shit and am now trying to navigate the world traumatised, unstable, and most likely dissociated to some degree every hour of the day i spend awake.

aside from that, pokémon is my special interest. it has been my favourite thing since childhood and has always been one of my biggest reasons for living. i'm also a big fan of music, mostly emo/punk/other rock or alternative genres. i have a puppy, a younger sister, and a partner who i love dearly and i owe it to them that i'm still here.

hopefully i feel more comfortable on this site as time goes on, because i like sharing my lived experience with others, and i hope it can help someone feel seen. even if i don't get paid much attention, it'll be nice having a void to scream into.

 

[Acy]

Hi, @fangface and welcome to SF! I’ve seen lots of people lurk a while so no worries about that. Glad you have opened up a bit now. It sounds like you have a few things on your mind/plate. You have come to a very supportive place, so I hope you will keep sharing.

You have some definite interests — pokémon and music, a sister and a partner, and a puppy. I’m sure we’ll hear more about your sister and partner, and maybe you could start with your puppy. What kind, colour, age, name?

I have a cat, but love most animals. If I lived on a big property and had oodles of money, I might have a dog too.

Glad you have shared and welcome again! Hoping to hear from you again, soon. Take care and stay safe!

 

[MAC0]

Hi Fangface welcome to the site I am like you I have tried to keep my real name a secret only known to a few people as I also want to keep from people working out who I am

you will find other on here with interests like yours I know we have a music thread and for pokemon we are more than happy to talk about them in the video game section

I hope you feel comfortable here enough to stay were a friendly group who dont judge and only help

 

[Holding my breath]

Hi @fangface just wanted to stop by and say hi and welcome. Good to have you with us and so pleased you feel up to sharing a little with us. Hope to see you around. Xx

 

[Livelife]

Thank you for sharing today. Nice to hear from you. Hope to hear more whenever you feel like it

 

[SamB]

Hi,

The first advice on here is always to seek professional help and to try and learn about and start to understand yourself. It seems that you already have that covered which is good.

As you’ve probably seen, nearly everyone on here is going through something or has their own issues to deal with. So whilst anonymity is good I don’t think you should be to worried about it. People are likely to understand and keep your privacy even if they did somehow work out who you are.

I have to say I am not really that knowledgable about Pokémon but I think that is where your pseudonym ash comes from. I remember an app from a few years back where people were collecting them out in the real world. Did you do that? I imagine that would have been interesting in the way it interacts with you and some of your diagnosis.

It’s probably too mainstream for you but I love under the pressure by the war on drugs, do you have any song that really resonate with you?

 

[Atreides]

Welcome to SF. I'm sorry about your troubles. It's understandable to feel anxious about opening up. There are a lot of good people here who want to listen and give support. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. I'm glad you have pokemon to keep you around. Anything that keeps you going is a good thing. I'm guessing that's where you got the name Ash. Just know SF is here for you.

 

[fangface]

Hi, @fangface and welcome to SF! I’ve seen lots of people lurk a while so no worries about that. Glad you have opened up a bit now. It sounds like you have a few things on your mind/plate. You have come to a very supportive place, so I hope you will keep sharing.

You have some definite interests — pokémon and music, a sister and a partner, and a puppy. I’m sure we’ll hear more about your sister and partner, and maybe you could start with your puppy. What kind, colour, age, name?

I have a cat, but love most animals. If I lived on a big property and had oodles of money, I might have a dog too.

Glad you have shared and welcome again! Hoping to hear from you again, soon. Take care and stay safe!

my pup's name is luna, which is sort of a stereotypical dog name, but my sister chose it so i don't mind. she's an 8 month old aussie cattle dog mix :') she was one of the only two red/brown and white pups in a black and white litter, my mum brought her home last december as a surprise and she's been one of my main reasons to stick around since then. she has enough energy for both her and myself and i love her to bits.

 

[Acy]

Luna sounds delightful! I’m sure she keeps you busy and makes life more fun!

 

[Livelife]

my pup's name is luna, which is sort of a stereotypical dog name, but my sister chose it so i don't mind. she's an 8 month old aussie cattle dog mix :') she was one of the only two red/brown and white pups in a black and white litter, my mum brought her home last december as a surprise and she's been one of my main reasons to stick around since then. she has enough energy for both her and myself and i love her to bits.

It sounds like you have a wonderful dog, I love Aussie cattle dogs...so pretty and smart....I lost my amazing one 4 years ago. I'm glad you have Luna now.

 

[KM76710]

@fangface

Glad you are with us and welcome, lurk and join in all you want to because this is a welcoming place and I hope that you find that you you have a place with us.

 

[mutt]

hi welcome! hope you are doing well. we have some stuff in common feel free to dm me if you ever wanna talk. doesn’t have to be about anything serious you can infodump about pokemon if you wanted to

 

[ridefar]

Welcome to SF

 

[Walker]

Hey Ash, how are you getting on with the site? Finding your way around okay?

 

[Auri]

Hi @fangface , belated welcome to SF. I'm glad you've joined us. A lot of people here suffer from/cope with the same diagnoses. I hope someday you don't have those thoughts in your head every single day, you have a full life ahead of you, with lots of potential directions you could go. Anyway, see you around here.