new here....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by This-is-my-mask, May 2, 2011.

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  1. This-is-my-mask

    This-is-my-mask New Member

    i didn't know were to post, here or crisis.
    im 21. live in average home. have a fulltime job. no friends.
    for the last week ive been trying to figure out a way to just die.
    I have managed to fuckup everything good in my life.
    idk why i even bother posting here. im just going to go on with this plateau of depression. i have been depressed for years. i have seen multiple doctors for it and have taken meds....meds make me feel like a zombie and like i have no life in me.. honestly i would rather be dead then on meds.
    im sorry. i guess i need a friend.. :(
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...very often there is a time where medications have to be adjusted to find the right one/s...please discuss with your pdoc your side effects and see if there is a better far as needing a friend...please request a buddy if that would work for you, and know that there are so many ppl here who will relate to what you post...many of us have gone through the feelings of feeling so empty and burned out...keep posting and letting us know how we can support you...welcome again and so glad you found us...big hugs, J
  3. This-is-my-mask

    This-is-my-mask New Member

  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    we are all friends here.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not alone now you can make friends here talk Your meds were to high if you were feeling like a Zombie Newer meds have less side effects hugs to you
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'll be your friend or buddy :) I'm 22 with no real close friends either. Feel free to PM me.
  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Hey, I just wanted to say that you are never alone. I find it hard to make friends in "real life" but I know I have people that care about me here.

    We are a friendly lot here and always willing to listen. You can always send me a PM if you need to talk.

    Take care :hug: xx
  8. hi,

    well lets imagine that you no longer want to live. then do not be selfish because I am sure that I can need your life as a friend! please send me a message!
  9. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey This-Is-My-Mask, sorry things are the way they seem.

    Your only young and I'm wondering when you started meds. I think that some of these meds might be more powerful to younger people, especially when the mind is still kind of going through big changes.

    Thing is, you need to keep a diary of meds - note how much you take each day and any mood differences if any. Doctors tend to be impatient and prescribe increasingly bigger doses, patient also often will not wait for 8 weeks or more to see if there is a positive effect, so they increase, and maybe decide 30mg is no good for them when maybe 15 or 20mg might have been the ticket.

    These new drugs work like that - 5mg is powerful to some, others need a lot more. Some find they need so much of one particular drug that side effects are pronounced.

    I'm sure that many might find diet, vitamins, more water to be a help. Exercise also - plus mind exercises such as always trying to contend any negative thoughts or use some process to counter it.

    The more we exercise, the bigger the muscles become. Likewise with the brain - if your using anti depressents, but just sitting in alone and feeling down in the dumps - its possible the subtle change might be lost in the usual negative thinking.

    Do you find you dwell on stuff and see yourself in a bad light?

    This can become a habit IF we know no better. I mean, depression is a frightening thing when you do not know what it is. Knowing is not the cure but at least its a step in the right direction. Not just that - people have various forms of depression, and it impacts everyone in an individual manner that is unique to each of us, though we all share universal wants and needs to be happy.

    You likely do need a friend also - but we make friends at different stages of life - and we tend to do better when we are in our twenties.

    What about a woman also? I mean you could kill two birds with one stone and meet a woman who is a friend and a lover.

    So far, despite this depression, you've got a home and you work for a living also. You must have some fortitude about you - but we all need someone to lean on also.

    Bear in mind that aged 21 you are in a better position to fight this depression than you were when a teenager. Like I say, meds may have hit you hard - but you can revise your usage and maybe try out a low 5mg dose for a week or two, then step up to 10mg, or even step up in 2.5mg doses.

    As for counselling, it can help if your depression has a root cause - the CBT cognitive behavioural therapy, is more about teaching you ways to alter the negative thinking process. It can take people all their lives to learn some things that might be handy to know.

    Were there is life there is hope. Depression aside, your working, have a home and maybe with a touch more self esteem you'll make a few friends.

    You got friends here though - so stick with us also and we'll help each other out as we go along.

    Be a friend to yourself though - take any help out there and know that we can advise and encourage you to overcome this bloody awful condition!

    Welcome and hope your stay here is a good one.
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