I'm struggling to begin, but basically I'm in a very bad place and can't find help. I've struggled for many, many years.
I was a busy professional with an active and full life before I became ill. Many surgeries later, still ill and my partner left with someone else and a huge chunk of my money, dragging me through court for years.
I've lost so much repeatedly in my life but kept positive and kept trying, was screwed over again and somehow I've just broken. I thought I'd hit rock bottom before but this. .. I haven't been able to bounce back in the last 2 years plus my health is declining.
My son now cares for me fulltime and i carry a lot of guilt around that. There's lots of stress in my life and much i cannot control or change. My health is declining and the situation is not good. I'm afraid. I want my son to have a full life and caring for me adds so much pressure and stress for him but i have no one else.
I leave home only to go to medical appointments, sometimes once every month or two. My family.... ugh. Friends. .. drifted away over the years of illness or couldn't deal with it.
I have one friend left who comes to see me when she can, every month or so.
I'm tired of even talking about my situation or answering the same things about my health. Im tired of hearing it myself.
I have depression with anxiety and PTSD but cant get any mental health support at home.
I tried another relationship with similar results. ... amd have suffered abuse before and ive come to the realisation ill be alone forever. That breaks my heart. I was all about love and never wanted to become bitter or jaded but i somehow feel like maybe i grew up with ideals about life that weren't true and now reality has hit me in the face and it's ugly.
More of my life has been pain than joy, but if i express my pain or grief I'm met with responses that hurt or hinder or blame.
I feel a burden to the one person i love the most, my son. My quality of life is poor and the outlook is worse.
Im tired of platitudes and criticisms. It doesn't help to be reminded that others have it worse or expectations that i should be better by now.
I'm stressed over many issues that i can't control or address so mostly use distraction because thinking about life just makes me cry or, lately, get frustrated, anxious and angry. I don't know or like the person I've become.
I feel very alone and life seems very pointless. I make it clear that i have no suicidal plans because of my son. There's no mental health support here. I live in pain, sickness, grief and sadness and have done so for many years now. I don't know what to do except maybe try to find support here, learn to trust people again, find friends again. ..
Writing this has barely touched on the surface of things but it's been upsetting and difficult to do (hence the terrible typos and punctuation etc).
I hope it gives the insight you need.
I was a busy professional with an active and full life before I became ill. Many surgeries later, still ill and my partner left with someone else and a huge chunk of my money, dragging me through court for years.
I've lost so much repeatedly in my life but kept positive and kept trying, was screwed over again and somehow I've just broken. I thought I'd hit rock bottom before but this. .. I haven't been able to bounce back in the last 2 years plus my health is declining.
My son now cares for me fulltime and i carry a lot of guilt around that. There's lots of stress in my life and much i cannot control or change. My health is declining and the situation is not good. I'm afraid. I want my son to have a full life and caring for me adds so much pressure and stress for him but i have no one else.
I leave home only to go to medical appointments, sometimes once every month or two. My family.... ugh. Friends. .. drifted away over the years of illness or couldn't deal with it.
I have one friend left who comes to see me when she can, every month or so.
I'm tired of even talking about my situation or answering the same things about my health. Im tired of hearing it myself.
I have depression with anxiety and PTSD but cant get any mental health support at home.
I tried another relationship with similar results. ... amd have suffered abuse before and ive come to the realisation ill be alone forever. That breaks my heart. I was all about love and never wanted to become bitter or jaded but i somehow feel like maybe i grew up with ideals about life that weren't true and now reality has hit me in the face and it's ugly.
More of my life has been pain than joy, but if i express my pain or grief I'm met with responses that hurt or hinder or blame.
I feel a burden to the one person i love the most, my son. My quality of life is poor and the outlook is worse.
Im tired of platitudes and criticisms. It doesn't help to be reminded that others have it worse or expectations that i should be better by now.
I'm stressed over many issues that i can't control or address so mostly use distraction because thinking about life just makes me cry or, lately, get frustrated, anxious and angry. I don't know or like the person I've become.
I feel very alone and life seems very pointless. I make it clear that i have no suicidal plans because of my son. There's no mental health support here. I live in pain, sickness, grief and sadness and have done so for many years now. I don't know what to do except maybe try to find support here, learn to trust people again, find friends again. ..
Writing this has barely touched on the surface of things but it's been upsetting and difficult to do (hence the terrible typos and punctuation etc).
I hope it gives the insight you need.
