I'm 24 years old nearly 25 and have had suicidal thoughts since 15-16, i have never went to a doctor about depression and never will as i have no intention of taking drugs for it. everything i look at i see it as something to use to kill myself with, everyday just wishing i was dead and searching for painless ways to die. I have no interest in life at all, it just doesn't appeal to me, i don't like people i can't be bothered trying to get a decent job, have no interest in getting a girlfriend and certainly not interested in ever having kids, i hate speaking to people, hate having family that expect you to do family things and see them, i hate being me and i hate myself. life just doesn't appeal to me, i feel this is my last year i will be alive. can't see me making it past the summer. but there are a few countries i would like to see before i die, so maybe i will visit them first then kill my self. All these thoughts just going round and round and round and round in my head. drives you mental!!