No interest in life.

[GoodbyeDeath]

I'm 24 years old nearly 25 and have had suicidal thoughts since 15-16, i have never went to a doctor about depression and never will as i have no intention of taking drugs for it.
everything i look at i see it as something to use to kill myself with, everyday just wishing i was dead and searching for painless ways to die.
I have no interest in life at all, it just doesn't appeal to me, i don't like people i can't be bothered trying to get a decent job, have no interest in getting a girlfriend and certainly not interested in ever having kids, i hate speaking to people, hate having family that expect you to do family things and see them, i hate being me and i hate myself.

life just doesn't appeal to me, i feel this is my last year i will be alive. can't see me making it past the summer. but there are a few countries i would like to see before i die, so maybe i will visit them first then kill my self.

All these thoughts just going round and round and round and round in my head. drives you mental!!

 

[total eclipse]

YOu do not have to treat your depression always with drugs there are other ways if you want to get well you can . Get a hold of a good therapist exercises eat right make sure you have no medical problems that are masking itself as depression rule out anything medical ok Talk to your general doctor and see what supports there are for you

 

[GoodbyeDeath]

None of that appeals to me, this week have come to the realisation that i have to kill my self soon. i'm not cut out for life and i have always known this.

 

[lostallhope3]

I feel the same way. However I would like to see you make it. Can you identify the reason you don't like yourself? Because that really is the key. Nothing will be enjoyable if you hate yourself.

People cannot give what they do not have. I suspect that your family did not give you very much love or affection. In fact I think they made you feel very much unloved. It's possible that you could still in spite of never ever really feeling loved, that you could still learn how to love yourself and forgive them for never loving you. Because remember people cannot give what they do not have within themselves to give.

maybe they were wounded 2

 

[GoodbyeDeath]

I am from a loving family a good family, my wish to die has nothing to do with them. i know i'm loved so don't try and think you know anything about my family. i don't seek the affection or love from people nor do i want it.

 

[Unknown_111]

Creepingdeath. I think you have a lot to live for such a young age. I think your incredibly honest and having the guts to post here. That takes a lot of courage to post here. Please keep posting as there are a lot of people who will give you support and not judge you at all. This forum has helped me a lot. You are not alone and keep posting.

 

[GoodbyeDeath]

i hate life its as simple as that, i don't even look at some one who has a good life and think ye i wish i had that life or was that person. i wish i could just be erased and forgotten about.

 

[JmpMster]

The first criteria for depression is Depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities for more than two weeks.. You acknowledge you are depressed for years, and have lost all interest in daily life, but your response is that you intend to do nothing about it, and will never see a Doctor about it (because will never take meds for it apparently). Just wondering if this means you have never and will never see a Doctor for anything else and that you never take any other kinds of medications for headaches, colds, strep throat, ear infections, or any common illnesses? Presumably you do not want to take meds because of potential side effects , but according to this post and others you are imminently suicidal - planning and intending on killing self, so what side effect is worse than death (which is the likely eventual side effect of not getting any type of treatment)?

 

[GoodbyeDeath]

I never go to a doctor unless i am in extreme pain for something. i have no interest in being put on anti depressants or speaking to a therapist or whatever.
It all boils down to this, i don't want to work i don't want to learn a trade to move up in life, i don't want to go to college or whatever to learn something, i don't want to work with people and deal with people on a daily basis as i have no time for people or interacting with them, i don't like having friends, i have a few but try my best to not talk to them very much, but for some reason they persist in trying to get me to do things year after year. i always avoid family gatherings etc etc because i'm not interested in them.

Yes i take medication for colds etc because i have taken them before and know they work, but putting me on medication for "depression" will never work, i don't want to get better i just want to die.

 

[JmpMster]

You clearly are able to tell the results that will come about from medications without trying them, as well as therapy. If you have absolutely no interest in seeking any help or interacting with people , what are you looking to get from posting on a support forum and interacting with the people here?

 

[emily83]

I never go to a doctor unless i am in extreme pain for something. i have no interest in being put on anti depressants or speaking to a therapist or whatever.
It all boils down to this, i don't want to work i don't want to learn a trade to move up in life, i don't want to go to college or whatever to learn something, i don't want to work with people and deal with people on a daily basis as i have no time for people or interacting with them, i don't like having friends, i have a few but try my best to not talk to them very much, but for some reason they persist in trying to get me to do things year after year. i always avoid family gatherings etc etc because i'm not interested in them.

Yes i take medication for colds etc because i have taken them before and know they work, but putting me on medication for "depression" will never work, i don't want to get better i just want to die.

my first thought is that they are probably worried about you, that's why they try to make you join in.

but, i can see your point.

what you're trying to say is, you can have all the medication in the world, all the therapies, but you've decided on a final decision because you're fed up with life- and none of that is going to give you purpose.

only you can decide what you want to do with your own life, and when you can't figure that out, what do you do then?

i personally hope you will continue to reach out on the forums for support, but i can understand your reasoning

 

[GoodbyeDeath]

Venting, blowing off some steam.

 

[Unknown_111]

I get like you everyday, having to drag myself off the floor thinking no point in life. I think about the simple things in life and that makes me determined to live for the next day. Trust me, you see people happy on the outside but you don't know what's happening inside. People have funny ways to show their emotions. Your still posting shows you people here will give support. Never think you are alone at all.. Keep posting my friend.