So this is probably the wrong location ~ feel free to move Depression, despondency, S ~ I've had enough. I'm afraid I'm a hypocrit because I want to believe what I say (and often think) but wanting and doing are different things. Why should anyone believe me when I so often cannot believe myself? This is all a sham, a child's Punch and Judy. I cannot find a means and I cannot overcome my fear so the shell of what I am moves through life like a bug carcass blown about by the wind. I work with those who make me (who I choose to allow to cause my desire to) want to scream. I cannot tell them they're what they are as that would be unkind. I cannot do what I WANT to do because others depend on me to function. I am TRAPPED in a body and a life I want to shed. Talking does nothing. Doing results in nothing. I am nothing - yet I cannot disappear. How can the invisible exist...I don't know but I do (and it does).