I always tried to stay a little positive at least. I am 25 and have been depressed for 17 years, my only suicide attempt was when I was only 10, I was dealing with maternal rejection, recent sexual abuse and constant bullying. I was sad the whole time but I always tried to tell myself it would get better. And it never did, I never got help nor told anyone about my problems, I only recently opened up to my mother about the abuse... But the thing that had been keeping me going was my job and now the business I started last year is failing, and I can't handle another failure in my life. I'm praying everyday for death, I imagine how much pain could a suicide cause to my mother and the trouble, I honestly don't want to bother anyone, I pray for God to kill me, but he doesn't, I know sooner or later it's gonna be up to me again.