Nonexistence

[middlerose]

To exist or not to exist...every moment of every day I battle this...I am trying to empty myself of feelings..emotions use so much energy..I struggle to get out of bed to shower to get dressed..I need my energy for that..I can' t keep feeling I can' t keep hurting..if I can empty myself so I don' t feel I could go on. I'm not living now merely existing..maybe it's time to end the existence....

 

[Alwayswrong]

Hi! I don't know your story because I'm somewhst mew here. I understand how you're feeling. I'm 61. When depression stroke me, I couldn't even put the trash into a bag. I had chronic fatigue once for 8 months and now I know depression is absolutely worse. And even more: everybody pointed fingers at me!!!
When I thought I was at the end of the way, with not even the strength to feel anything, I came across this great forum. Shutting down your hurting feelings and self talk for a while doesn't mean you're merely existing; you're giving them time to heal, just like a plaster when there's a broken bone. So treat yourself gently and be patient. (I don't know if you're treated for depression or if you've got a therapist. I'm just telling you what happened to me hoping it can help you).

 

[Cagla]

Maybe you can remind yourself of that this is not permanent , this is not permanent , this is not permanent. Saying these words again and again.
It helps me somehow.
This cannot be permanent. It is against of life's dialectical patterns ....we will be good some day

 

[gypsylee]

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} @middlerose

I think a lot of us just “exist”. I mean I’ve spent days just NOT drinking. Maybe the problem is our idea of “living”? Humans evolved to *survive* and we’re doing that! I have days where I struggle to have a shower and get dressed as well. As @Alwayswrong said - treat yourself gently. I’ve been pushing myself pretty hard in the last week so today is going to involve a lot of sleeping and *maybe* tidying up my room which seriously looks like a bomb’s hit it :confused:

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

I keep waking up. So I exist.

Existence is over rated.