Not getting any younger

[Chipetele]

Not intended to be offensive to those older than me. It's how I feel and didn't find a better way to say it.

I feel old. I'm about to stop looking young. And I never got to share my youth with other people. I never had friends. I never got to be young with other people. I was inside, alone, and it looks like that's how I'm about to spend the rest of my life, inside, alone, a hermit. I mean I go outside a lot, but whatever. Inside and outside, alone, inside my own head, dealing with life on my own. And I'm no longer young, I turn 27 this year. I'm about to stop looking young, if I haven't already ( I still looked young last fall, according to this one video) and something about seeing that and recognizing that time is slipping away from me and that I've spent the youth I had inside (and outside) alone, not sharing any of it with anyone, just really depressed me. It's all a waste. I don't get a do-over. And I just can't make friends, and I don't think I'm capable of feeling the things you're supposed to feel in friendships (or even friendly interactions with other people) at all anymore, forI feel dead inside, have felt dead inside for months, I don't even want friends right now, I just want to watch videos, tv shows, read books, spend time in nature and exercise, I don't want other people in my life except family, and I don't want to not want these things but everything's just so f'd up, and I dont' see how I won't spent what remains of my "young" life (not much, if any) isolated and with nonexistent social skills and nonexistent "social feelings".

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

No offense is taken whatsoever. I Am 8 years ahead of you if I did my math right. I understand what you are talking about, been there myself in that boat figuratively when I was a quarter century old pondering what the heck am I doing doing nothing...most days I have become comfortable with who I am it took me years to see it as not a waste as it really is the fact that we start dying/aging the day we are created. Cells die. We evolve though those death and new creatation of those cells. We are not the same person we were a thousand steps ago were we?


Another spin to this Maybe not a good thing or much a help...try this... imagine your spirit animal. For example...I see myself as a bear at times a solitary creature content getting muscles worked up and eating for the winter and being social at times but prefer to be left alone to own devices. Everything on this earth has a time and things come and go. Its really up to ourselves to embrace that part of circle of life. To go back in time to redo it would show a different you but as worse off? Look at a lot of social butterflies...drug/alochol addicts stemming from the back in the ol days of socializing and partying it out. Those things age a person so fast. People dying off from random social stuff like car accidents and boating accident drug overdose...Those social people paid the price with their looks. I am on FB just astonished on how horrible those classmates have aged in their early 30s. It probably was not meant for you to be leading that type of a life for a reason or you wouldn't be here if you redo it.

Take Care

 

[Rebreb]

I know the feeling of thinking youth is this thing to not waste and try to hold on to. No matter your age, do what you enjoy. It seems you already know what you enjoy and how you like to live so how about you throw away the clock and calendar and continue to be true to yourself. Lots of people don't get into their groove till their 30s or 40s, sometimes older if they were stuck in an abusive marriage or something, but the point I'm making is that your perspective will shift in time. I felt a time crunch in my 20s but when I hit 30 I felt like I had all the time in the world, like the rest of my life felt so expansive now that the 20s pressure was lifted. Keep doing what you love and let things shift within you.