Not looking forward to the next year...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SaraRose, Dec 30, 2012.

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  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I know it's not going to change. What has changed in my life? Oh I know I am broke up...Yeah the next year should be amazing. I'm another year older. Another year of my life wasted and all I get to look forward to is another year of becoming older and more alone. My friends lie and say they're going to move in with me and we'll have fun that way, Yet magically every year I'm alone and nodding as they explain what happened this time making a move impossible.

    Excuse me if I don't even fake the excitement. Even right now just thinking about another year of pain, and suffering makes me want to cry. Really I am going to need SO MUCH MORE alcohol to survive another year.

    I'm finding myself drifting more and more into my mind. The world I can create in my mind is so much better. I'm happy there. I can actually enjoy life and sometimes I don't wanna come back to this world. This real world has nothing for me; nothing but sadness and lonliness and just a need to leave it.

    And with all of this not being resolved the new year just scares the s**t outta me. Truthfully I don't know how I can survive another year and that scares me more then anything else. Through out this year I've had each thing that kept me strong leave me. So now I'm nothing more then a broken girl sitting alone wishing I had just killed myself in July when I had planned it.

    With luck I won't chicken out this time...
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I honestly feel the same way you do about everything you've said. I still feel like a failure, because I've accomplished nothing of greatness. My friends turn on me too, and it bothers me when people say they hope I have a great year when I know it will just be worse than the last one. I don't know if I'll make it, but I hope you don't decide to end it, and you can always talk to me if you need someone to just listen. Even if it's not as good as talking face to face, I can still be there to help.
  3. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Thanks Witty. :hug:

    If you ever need to talk I'm here for you too. I may not be a face to face person but I'm always there to help you.
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    There is not much i can say other than I can so relate to what you're saying.
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