nothing.. at all..

[Maxii..]

i don't have nothing to live for..
i don't like my friends.. they're stupid.. and inmature..
my family sucks.. i don't like 'em and they don't like me..
i do nothing at all during my days.. i just walk around the city with no destination..
i smoke 15 cigarettes a day.. and i smoke at least half of them because they make me feel like im getting closer to my death..
my girlfriend doesn't pay attention to me.. we only see each other when i ask her out.. we only talk when i call her..

i just don't feel like doing nothing.. i just wanna dissapear..

i know what you'll say.. "play an instrument.." " make new friends.." "get a new girlfriend"..
not for me guys.. i just can't do that.. since i desided to kill myself..

how the fuck can i get out of this one?

 

[ace]

Maxii do you have any friend's at all that you like?what I suggest first you do is try to take thing's a little more easier and try to go easier on yourself.I do feel you're in alot of pain but you can get out of this slowly,firstly relax as much as you can try your best to enjoy the moment you're in now and just go easy on the future at the moment.
Find out what are the thing's that upset you and bother you and write them all down,can I ask do you see a Dr or Therapist?listen I understand that doing something sound's easier said than done and it won't cure your feeling's of depression instantly I'm not going to lie to you I know what it's like.I don't want you to kill yourself of course,you're in obvious pain so there are thing's that can be worked upon believe me.
Hey I have Bi Polar,Ocd and Bdd and it's a total nightmare,but those are my own problem's but what I am saying i do understand how you're feeling and how hard it really is.

 

[Maxii..]

first of all.. thanks for your anwser..
and.. you wanted to know if im seing a therapist..
i used to.. but i stoped going cause it was useless.. im gonna try with a new one..
and.. is not like i don't try.. i try to hang out with my friends.. i try to be like them.. but i just can't.. i get really pissed for no reason.. and i can't stand anyone.. even myself..
i just don't know what the hell to do.. if i died right now it would be just great..
im wasting my summer holidays.. im always making people feel bad.. im a waste of money for my parents..
self injuring ain't helping anymore.. the pain is not enought to equal what i feel inside..
fuck.. there's no way out.. as soon as i manage to bring myself down enought i'll just end it..

 

[ace]

Maxii you get down for no particular reason you say?That is quite normal with depression all of a sudden you will become very emotional or it slowly happens,you become increasingly distressed and feel all hope is lost and putting a finger on why and what was the cause is the trickiest and hardest part.When I'm asked the question "What are you depressed about?"I say I can't answer that because there may not be one particular thing at times otherwise I could fix it.
with Bi Polar i could and try my best to go out and have a good time then bacng within seconds I'm that depressed on the inside and having suicidal thoughts racing through my head.I'm thinking I'm out with friends meant to be having a good time and I have this going through my head and only moments ago or even seconds I felt on top of the moon so how screwed up is that?
I know how hard it is and it is'nt your fault and seeing a Therapist and it being no use I can understand it,because listening to all the thing's they say may be true but they just dont work like that if it was that simple we'd be doing it.Especially with depression as it completely takes a hold of everything,the only way to beat this is tackle it slowly and I also feel talking to people who are in a similar situation can help.
If you feel that being out with your friend's is tough for whatever reasons and you need some time away where you may need to calm back down and try to relax then that may also be a good thing.Sadly with the difficult emotion's it's not so easy for us to just make them go away and of course it sux so badly,one thing that could be useful right now is to try your best to concentrate on the present as much as you can do your best to discard whatever has happened in the past and as for the future try not to get to overrawed about it otherwise your anxiety will just take hold of you.