Nothing takes the pain away

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by MaNg0s, Apr 27, 2008.

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  1. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I have always been depressed but since me and my ex broke up in November I have been not myself at all.

    I have been going out lot to try and get rid of these feelings I have but they will not go away. I always try to take my mind off what's going on in my life that's upsetting me but it never works. I have tried to fix the problems but its just too late or to hard to fix it.

    Basically I have turned to alcohol and drugs for support so I don't try to kill myself again. But I just still feel the same way drinking used to help me as I would just drink till I would pass out.

    I was never like this even my closest friends have told me I am not the same loving funny guy they knew and it hurts to hear that but its true. Yesterday all my friends were pretty much passed out and I was there almost to tears because I wanted to cut myself soo bad as I just couldn't stop feeling soo low.

    I don't understand what's happened to me I look at myself and I am not the person I wanted to be I used to be focused. Before when I still had my ex and so many more friends I was still depressed but I didn't think it could get worse. But it has I have always pushed away everyone I have loved away now I just feel so lost in all of this. Basically everything I used to do to escape my depression does not work any more working out, skating, playing games, going out with friends, smoking and drinking nothing takes the pain away.

    I hate what I've become I have always thought I was never the person to be scared to commit to anyone I just wanted to be happy and when I was I tried everything I could to make myself miserable. I am soo tired of feeling depressed just flooded with memories of better times and when I come back to reality I cannot stand anything :(
     
  2. adamho

    adamho New Member

    hi.

    It's normal to feel like this especially if you have been depressed for such a long time. I know that nothing seems to help, but it will, gradually. Just keep on doing what you think will help you, sport, meeting friends, focusing on work or school. If you set yourself goals you want to achieve, or just find yourself a new hobby, playing an instrument or something, it will fill the gap. Nothing happens overnight, but if you try and keep positive, it will happen eventually.
    Hope you get better soon.
     
  3. MaNg0s

    MaNg0s Well-Known Member

    I hope so. I started playing the guitar again used to help and I made a goal to finish college and move to Canada first 2 days of this plan I was really optimistic about life. But now I don't see a point in trying. I really have tried to keep busy but its my last month of college and I can't even concentrate on my work I really can't work. I just don't know what to do.
     
  4. adamho

    adamho New Member

    You just have to keep on doing everyday things. I know that depression is some hard shit to deal with, but things will start to look up :)
    hope you feel better soon
     
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