obsession with calorie limit - is this enough?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Pebble, Oct 5, 2010.

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  1. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Sorry if this sounds stupid but I'm not really sure how to say it out loud but really need to talk to someone
    I got really stuck on taking laxatives and ended up taking a packet of 20 within a couple of days every couple of days each week but I have this stupid big fear of using the bathroom anywhere except home (home being my parents house) since having to go back to uni and share a house with others, I have been too scared to take the laxatives as I'm too scared to use the toilet and the only way of keeping on top of things and to continue to loose weight was to restrict what I'm eating even more. I have tried to limit myself to 200 or less calories a day - is this too many calories? its just its really hard cause people are always questioning me but I dont want to eat like them - they're all really skinny and can afford to eat what they do I cant I'm already the big fat girl of the house. I like to try and just eat a few rice cakes a day but have a naughty treat sometimes with a hot chocolate - options - 39 cals with hot water and only a little bit of semi skimmed milk but even this makes me feel guilty and like a failure. I cant take my anti depressants at all anymore because I'm too scared of them making me feel hungry but my mood is dropping everyday - the voices are there continuously and all I can think about is ways to end things. I am not loosing enough weight - I am still really fat and have no way of making myself skinnier. I have tried to make myself sick after eating smaller things but its really hard in the house because theres always someone around and you seem to be able to hear anything in this house. I just want to rip all of the fat out of my body - i am sick fat and disgusting :sad:
     
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    You're not eating nearly enough.

    All that's gonna happen is your body will go into starvation mode and you will lose barely anything. Starving fucks up your metabolism.

    You need to up you calorie intake considerably, and look at what's in you eat, as calories aren't all that matters.

    That, exercise, and time will give you results.
     
  3. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I am exercising and trying to be healthy - I go to the gym if not every day every other day and the days I'm not in the gym I'm doing sit ups weights or going for a run so am trying to be healthy. I was smaller before this pysc person put me on orlanzapine 2/3 years ago which I demanded to be taken off from after I put on loads of weight, I am so scared of being like that again I just cant risk it. I have to go home for a few days and am so scared of getting off track cause my parents get so suspicous, the only thing I can do if they make me eat stuff is take the laxatives ready before they can
     
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    There is no way in hell you should be exercising at all on 200 calories a day.

    At best you'd be burning your muscles off, not fat.

    Doing that while on a starvation diet is NOT being healthy.
     
  5. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I feel guilty and bigger if I dont go and if I eat anything bad, at least if I eat smaller things like carrotts and rice cakes I can keep a track of things and feel more like I am doing something positive for myself. I am really struggling not to self harm at the moment and at least if I can succeed in keeping myself on track with what I eat and do I am not failing completely. I'm so scared of failing though :-( I am scared to eat with everyone else, I hate going into the shops and seeing everything there cause you automatically start wanting them. i had to divert off tract today and have a vegetable stirfry with my house mate, thankfully they werent many people home so I could sort myself out afterwards but I feel like the fear is taking over me
     
  6. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    I'm pleased to hear you have been using less laxatives.
    Got beaten to it, but 200 calories a day is far to low it will almost completly shut down your metabolism and will cause your body to run in survival mode, you will not burn off much fat and most likely some muscle. In survival mode your body will store the next meal you eat as fat, so will not help in weight loss.
    You need to eat a lot more to lose weight efficiently i think anything under 1500 ish calories causes your metabolism to slow down, you really want it high to burn off the food you eat, for weight loss its best to eat small and often spread over say six meals. Sit ups won't do jack for weight loss.
    If you like keeping track why not plan in advance six small meals for the day.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 5, 2010
  7. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I cant afford to eat anything like that - I do plan my meals, I take with me to uni what I need and dont get anything else. I cant stand the feeling of guilt and of being so fat after eating - the food is not worth it honeslty - that feeling of guilt and disgust just eats at me more. I feel so trapped because I feel like I'm not in enough control, that I should be doing a better job - I hate myself and feel like I'm failing as am still so big. I just keep trying to tell myself that if I get on top of my mood and feelings that maybe I'l be able to do a better job and control myself more, all you really need is some drink to get you through right
     
  8. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately what you are doing will not make you lose weight well so you will have to assess that at some point and decide what you will change, for better or worse.
    If you want to lose weight but can't stand the guilt or disgust of eating more then you first must tackle those issues. Possibly talk to someone about that.
     
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