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OCD and Spatial Reasoning

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#1
So i wanted to bring up a thread to try and gather some thoughts on a very specific issue i've been having with my OCD lately. While i've generally been doing well at fighting compulsions and sitting with the obsessive anxiety, i've been having a much harder time with firmly grasping where i exist within the given space of a room. It's bizarre, it's like my ability to process the geometry of my environment is getting worse, and now i'm getting anxious because, say, my route from the sink to my towel took me within 5 feet of the toilet, or when i was bending over to wash my hands, my head came within a couple of feet of the plunger on the soap bottle. And it creates this ridiculous situation where i find myself rewalking a path or vaguely repeating the motions of something i just did, to confirm to myself that there is in fact no plausible way i accidentally touched the thing i can't stop fixating on having potentially touched. And even doing this strange thing doesn't completely make the anxiety go away, and i often have to wash or rewash objects or my hands to get any peace.

So i'm wondering if anyone else with OCD has encountered this problem, and if they have, if they found a way to stop it driving them mental like it currently is for me. Any feedback is appreciated, even if it's "I never experienced anything like that, and it's weird you are", cos then i at least know that.
 

seabird

meandering home 🦢☔️
SF Supporter
#2
It isn't what I've experienced however the mental absolute of having to map out stuff, objects like furniture and even small objects sounds like myself.

It is sometimes crazy-making. Other times it has come in oddly handy. I have located things others think are lost, because of having this (unbidden) strange precise map in my mind. That's satisfying but people think it's some sort of gift. It's as far as I can tell just visual thinking - my mind files stuff a little differently than them.
To make mine less insisteny I pay attention to other subjects, like reading, studying math or my painting or cooking etc.

Sometimes do you have new obsessions come along if you are under stress?
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Sometimes do you have new obsessions come along if you are under stress?
I do. Usually it's just a new step in a pre-existing process, or a new object my brain decides it's afraid for me to touch, but this one feels way more significant than the others. It's like i've suddenly started losing the ability to maintain a coherent mental image of the size and position of things in relation to whether it should be triggering my OCD. It's like a whole new paradigm of obsession.

That being said, between being evicted, the state of my physical health, and the state of the rest of the world lately, i have been having a hard time not letting it all get to me. So maybe it is possible that an especially large bout of stress could create such a sizeable new obsessive thought pattern.
 

seabird

meandering home 🦢☔️
SF Supporter
#4
That's understandable. It's as if the underlying mechanisms (?) have been triggered all at once. Like the way inflammation can cause an illness, in our bodies. I wonder if this would subside if you felt safer.

I'm sorry you have had to deal with physical health issues and eviction, I can't imagine how difficult that was. My dismay from my recent failed move pales in comparison.

I know this is impossible but I wish it anyway; that when I manage to feel some equanimity & peace that I could literally share it here, with you.

I hope we can all feel safer. The world is not looking like that at present.
hugs
 
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