OK. So I am depressed

[argentina1908]

So I am diagnosed depressed. I didn't really need the doctor to tell me that. Husband was diagnosed 6 months ago with Aspergers and my son diagnosed last week with ADHD

For years I have been trying to tell family and frineds that there is something wrong with members of my family. There are those that have really stuck by me and offered support and understanding but then there are a lot of people that have told me the following

my husband is lazy and horrible
my family is dysfunctional
I don't discipline the children correctly
why am i giving my son blue coloured drinks !
i need to get rid of all the preservatives in their diet
i need to make a more homely environment for the family. perhaps you
should work less hours
i married him !
i don't set clear boundaries for the family
why don't i look after my kids needs better

I am really angry that these people (a lot of them are closely related to me) have failed to look beyond their own narrow minded attitude of what has been going on. Failed to give me the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge my observations that these were symptoms of a much bigger issue.

I feel very much alone in my situation. We are not a "normal" family and there will always be this "weird" element to the happenings in our lives that others will be totally ignorant to. it just makes me want to withdraw from all these people.

 

[Speedy]

Hi argentina1908!

Argentina reminds me of Manu Ginobili, one of the basketball players I enjoy watching! And of Juan Martin del Potro, the US Open (Men's tennis) champion in 2009! Cool username! :]

Anyways, back on topic - I am an Asperger's kid, like your husband. I hope he is pleasant to be around. :hug: Some Asperger's people I have met have been very caring; I hope he's one of them.

As for family, my family has had to keep my problems and hospitalizations all a secret from anyone outside my sisters and my parents. My parents describe the people that would badmouth us because of my problems as "narrow-minded and just overall not nice" (except they say it in Mandarin Chinese).

It sounds like you are trying hard to make ends meet within your family, and I am proud of you for that. :hug:

Best wishes,

Alex

 

[twofeet]

Can't imagine what you've gone through, dealing with the constant guilt trip people have laid on you! Hope you find quality help for your family and a center of beauty for yourself through all this.

 

[flowers]

argentina1908 No wonder you are angry !!!!! Judging is always toxic. As well as destructive. I am sorry that you are expereincing toxic people in your life. I think that truly strong people in our lives want to see how they can uplift and stand by us.

My mother is very very judgmental. And she is actually quite ashamed of me because of depression and more. It only causes harm when she judges me. I feel bad enough, without her adding to it. right?

I just read in another post you made that your husband only thinks about himself. Yes that is the same with my neighbor who has Aspbergers. He is in counselling to learn to develop skills around thinking of, and communicating better with others. Because his mom told me that if I notice, he will never ask me how I am. He is an adult in his 40s. Not a kid. BUT he had to go into councelling. He was forced to do so because of DWI/DUI convicions. I am glad you found this website. Because people here will support you. Do you also belong to a group for family members of people who have Aspergers? I, for one, am here to give support. :hug: